Whispering Loudmouth

Busy Busy Busy

2012-02-17T21:43:00.000-08:00

Well... I have to cure my disease for procrastination.

Today is May's birthday surprise. So happy because I haven't gone out for a LOOONG time.

Okay. So must finito homework...

Luckily enough, Prawn and I... 3 months :)

And in 2 more weeks, I'm off to Singapore for IASAS.

Busy Busy Bee

2012-02-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

Yowza! What a tiresome week!

After the four-day weekend (which I did absolutely nothing), I was thrust back into school. The pressing deadlines are coming and I have no clue how to deal with them.

With IAs and other shiz (like the EE) to do, I am sick and tired of Word.

Then, Thursday rolled around.

Thursday was the first day of SEA Forensics and I am a participant for Impromptu.

About Impromptu, for those who do not know, you get one-minute to prepare a speech that should take at least 4:00 minutes to 5:00 minutes.

Okay. So first day. I was scared to death. I didn't know what to do.

I was stuck in a bad mood because I slept fairly late the day before, finishing up that bloody EE. Furthermore, I was just tired. Sleeping late the days before really did not do well for my body.

So, during Impromptu, I was stuck in a room with a bunch of people, all of them are anxious and had butterflies in their stomachs. It made me more anxious as well. Then, people started talking about their fear and it just threw me off my game.

So, I went in and then I scanned the crowd.

It was 11:15 am at the time and I know everyone was busy getting lunch, but one guy came, that guy was Prawn. He gave me a smile of reassurance and I felt a bit calmer.

The word for Impromptu was "Vision" while the phrase was "There is no smoke without fire." I took the phrase first since I thought that no one else would have taken it.

It didn't fly so well for me.

The next day, I had an Impromptu Round 2 at 8:15 am. Again, I expected no one to come. Waited again in the room. Luckily, there was quiet and no one was being chatty.

I went in, slightly calmer.

The word was "Bubbles" and the phrase "The bad guy always win." Since the phrase was easier, I took bubbles. Luckily that played to my advantage because I was able to rank high in my room, (1st and 2nd). As I was looking at the crowd, I saw Prawn in the audience as well. Waddaya know? :) I decided to take a jab at his computer geekiness and talk about how I would choose laptops with a prettier appearance than one with power (in one of my points). He realized it and shook his head, trying hard not to laugh (as he told me later).

Then, in the afternoon, I was afraid of not making it into Semi-finals, but I got through.

So I had another round at 1:35 pm. It was not a quiet waiting time because it was at the hallways and people were being as noisy as heck.

Guess who showed up again? Prawn. Seriously, I am so lucky to have such a supporting boyfriend.

So the word was "Budgets" and the phrase "A flower blooms more than once."

I spoke about Austin in my last point of my speech. Then, I said I grew up with a better concept of love and I looked over at him when I said it.

Later that afternoon, I went with Marshmallow to Ampang Point and we tried to shop, tried, for a gift for her "friend" (eyebrows up and down, Groucho Marx style). In the end, we came out empty handed. On the plus side, I got to spend more time with her in person. :) So that was cool since we probably got slightly tanned from the super, hot sun.

I got the call from Jono that I made it to Finals. Super happy.

So the next morning, I performed in front of a bigger crowd, in the Theater, with a microphone, and stage lights just shining in my eyes. Terrifying.

I opened the envelop and the word was "Fusion" and the phrase "All's fair in love and war."

I did Fusion because I thought it would be the hardest word. Too bad I fumbled so badly.

I managed to place fourth out of sixth.

Prawn wasn't there to support me because he had a Malay field trip. It is similar to the one that Marshmallow and I took back in 10th grade. Good times.

During the morning, he miscalled 10 times and messaged me, but I, naturally, did not tug my phone around everywhere. So when I did take out my phone from my locker, I was surprised to see that I had all these calls from him.

I sms-ed him back, thinking that he would be busy with his trip.

Then, I was in the debate prep room with my other fellow friends.

I think I'll just classify them as MUN-ers, because they all are. They are the male MUN-ers and I felt like the outsider, the only girl there... It was fun, to hang out with the guys and feel like one of the guys.

Fun thing that Paul, Ahmed, Nat, and I did. We fraped Simon's wall. The beauty and I came up with the theme. I felt like it was such a win.

Terrible thing happened that day, I got into a tiny fight with Prawn.

I didn't do anything or I think I didn't.

Okay, so here's the details.

I was talking to him since he called in the middle of someone's Extempt speech (which I was happily watching). Then, I was just telling him about my Impromptu speech and how it went. He, on the other hand, was fishing in the hot sun, irritated that he hasn't caught any fish. Personally, I couldn't care less.

Then, he seemed irksome and I was just tired from speaking and irritated that he called during a speech. But I was still eager to talk to him. Then, he got mad at me for not picking up my phone. I explained to him that I put my phone in my locker because an hour before, I was with V and the gang and we were practicing. Then, I told him that while I was waiting, it would be better to not have any phones at all.

He started going a bit crazy from the heat and said that why should he bother calling? It was horrible. I ended up feeling super frustrated with him. I hung up.

Then, he called again. I asked Cait to pick up, since she was there. He hung up.

After awhile, I called him back since he sent a distressing text. While talking to him, I cried. I hate it when he does that. He makes me feel like I'm at fault and I felt like I was. I probably was at fault anyways... but I forgot how.

He realized that I was crying and said that he was being the melodramatic guy and it was the stress from everything.

We slightly made up, but I felt terrible after that. I didn't feel like talking to him after that.

So I hung out with the guys more and more, they made me forget a bit about him and his little Drama moment.

But no, I didn't even consider breaking up with him or losing interest for him because I still do love him. So, even though I was in a room with a couple of guys, I didn't think one bit, "What happens if KL said he likes me?" I didn't at all.

Then, I slowly forgave him. I still didn't feel like talking to him because when I do, I felt like I was walking along a minefield. One small step, and then an eruption. I guess I sort of date myself because I can be like that too, only with my parents.

So, I watched Debate with Pepe, Jish, and KL's team. OMG. It was amazing. I had so much fun watching it and how they ripped apart Disney's team and the other KTJ team. It was pure insanity. Since I sat with my MUN-ers, I also felt that I had to respond with the crowd and I sure did. I cheered and OMG and "Here, here" with them. It was fun.

I really hope to make IASAS now since I just love hanging with them. They are people that are just insanely different and it is such a joy to hang out with them at times. What surprised me the most was Paul. He is seriously amazing. I wished I knew him sooner. He is so easy going but a bit cocky. Gah, his girl is really lucky (if they happen, I probably think PROM. Let's hope and wait until then Marshmallow).

After the awards ceremony, which ended at 6pm, I waited another 1.5 hours until he came back from his Malay trip. I had to give up my victory dinner with the MUN-ers, but I told Nat, "I'm waiting for Prawn."

While waiting for him, I called him, according to him, 95 times. His phone died, how should I know? I think 75 times were subconscious calls because I only remembered 20 times. When he came, I was still afraid to talk to him, thinking that he'll be mad.

Nope.

Not at all.

I managed to see him and he congratulated me for being a Finalist. He even gave me a crown made of leaves (which he made during his trip).

That night. I did absolutely nothing. I slept.

Today, I'm screwed again because of the amount of homework that I had to do.

Marshmallow, do not read this if you don't want to change your view of Prawn

Then, I went on Facebook. In the box where it says people's latest activities, I was surprised to see....

"Prawn just read on Yahoo! "10 different types of kisses."

I wanted to erase that memory.

It was surprising.

I was a bit shocked. Hmm. I am very shocked.
I won't tell him. It'll be my little secret. Mwahaha.

Realization

2012-02-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

I deserve him.

He deserves me.

We deserve each other.

Motivated by Marshmallow :D

Cheesiness part 2

2012-02-05T06:47:00.001-08:00

What he wrote:

"you are beautiful, inside and out. and i really do mean it

if i'm lying, then i don't deserve you

i really do think, that you're beautiful, pretty, and cute :)

cute, because of your adorable cheeks and lips

beautiful because of your eyes

and pretty because everything put together, and WITHOUT make up, really does look pretty

I LOVE YOU ALYA"

I don't deserve this guy.
He's too perfect.

I love him to the extent of waiting to spend my entire life with him.

This is weird coming from someone who doesn't believe in long distance.

But for him, I'll try.

And for Marshmallow, here's the poem:

Every little gesture

Every move that you make

I fall in love with you

All over again

In a sea of people

You’re the one who sees me

Your hand wave makes everything better

Because it’s yours

That smile that greets me

Lifts me up higher

And the way you walk closer

Sends tingles down my spine

Giving you a high-five

Pumps up my adrenaline

Getting a hug from you

I can almost faint from the excitement

Every little gesture

Every move that you make

I fall in love with you

All over again

When we walk together

Side-by-side, holding hands

The whole world disappears

It’s just you and me, together, forever

The way we hide

Just to kiss each other

My heart races

Faster and faster

The way you ruffle up my hair

When you blow wind

At my messy fringe

I smile so wide

The way you say “I love you”

In all your different languages

I can’t respond

You finally made me speechless

On your birthday

When we kissed in the rain

The memory still burns

Vividly in my head

You’re amazing at cheering me up

You’re the sunshine

That I was always waiting for

That I always needed

I love you so much

Please don’t let me go

I want us to last

Till you can’t stand me no more

I’ll try my best

To not be a neurotic pain

I just can’t live

Without you beside me

Let’s run off together

Sometime in the future

You and me

The world disappears

You understand me

Like no one else can

Despite the craziness

Despite the ‘squabbles’ we have

When we talk about HA

Or other awesome shows

Other awesome movies

That others might not know

The way that you make me laugh

With your jokes

Your funny faces

Makes my day

Every little gesture

Every move that you make

I fall in love with you

All over again

You think that Prawn is a lucky guy. No, I'm lucky. I'm super di duper lucky to have him in my life.

Cheesy Outburst

2012-02-05T05:04:00.000-08:00

When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating

Why I love Prawn

He chose me out a million prettier girls in school

I'm serious. There are tons of prettier girls in school and girls who are far more interesting than me. But out of them all, he chose me.

He gave me back self-confidence, which I've lacked.

There's nothing better than hearing your boyfriend say, "You're beautiful to me." As someone who struggles with her body image, hearing him say, "You look fine," is awesome. I can't thank him enough for this.

He understands my busy schedule

Usually guys will ultimately end it with a girl if the girl is too busy or doesn't have enough time for him. With Impromptu and other commitments, I barely see him in school. He understands the load of stress I'm under and still manage to be by my side when I break down.

He "finds" me

I told this before. But I'm sorry to bore you again.

After ushering for the Middle School Play, I was being a bit playful. (We were still friends who like each other then) So I bbm-ed him, "Come find me."

I thought he won't, so I went to the deck. Then, Rainbow and the others said Prawn went to find you. (Awww)

So, after messing with him, he found me when I was talking to Hyo Joo for awhile. He ran, sprinted to me, only to stop just a feet away from me.

So yes. There are other reasons, but I'm too distracted from other things to write about it now.

To Marshmallow, I am not going to try out for Track. I have no time.
I'm gonna do a JV sport, ie: Tennis or Swimming.

I told Prawn that I'll stay back after-school almost every day and watch him run his little heart out as a sprinter for Track and Field.

A Week in Review: First week of Feb.

2012-02-04T00:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, this week has been a blur.

English orals coupled with a Paper 3 test about India for History, it doesn't do so well on your body. After finishing off those two big assessments, I did not bother going to school after that.

I keep getting fits of stress this week, which means my mind was not at the right place.

So, on the day of my orals, I started becoming a bit intrigued by KL again. But not like in love with him, just like, Wow, I wonder what would happen...

The reason being that I was tired and Prawn was also stressed. I was getting a bit tired of his moodiness. Just a bit.

So then, I started to remember what it was like with KL. It was comforting for awhile when KL wished me luck for my orals before my orals started. Then, after-school, I was walking back from McD and I saw KL driving his car with his sunglasses. I was like, wow, I could have asked him for a ride.

I started thinking about this until I got back home. The what if KL did like me.

Then, I felt guilty because I thought of another guy.

The next day was terrible. On Skype, I told him about this sudden, brief KL moment. I told him I don't like KL, it was the stress. It was hard. I cried because I felt that I betrayed his love. But then, he reassured me that it was alright.

He said, "At first I was jealous and offended, but then I came to my senses."

I had to tell him because we have an honesty policy between us. It was terrible. That night.

Then, we made up. Well, he forgave me, or he said it wasn't my fault. I felt better.

Sigh.

Now, I closed my thoughts on KL. I guess it's because I never really ended my crush on KL. But after telling that to Prawn, I felt much better.

The next day, I felt okay now about KL.

I love my boyfriend, and I don't want this to end.

I asked him, "Will you still be with me after 10 years, or more?"

He replied happily with, "I love you till no end."

*sigh*

Sometimes, I feel so unworthy to have him. He's not the lucky one, I am.

I mean, he has to deal with my neurotic spatters.

My priorities to spend time with other people. I feel like I always leave him out of my life.

Sigh.

Oh well. Hopefully it'll change soon.

OHHHH. For the Walk-a-Thon, I have my decade long best friend coming. She said she's coming. I don't know if she will.

Then, my dear Prawn will be playing with his band.

Yes.

Lucky.

2012-02-01T04:32:00.001-08:00

Wow.

So many things happening with my friends.

L and her beau are fighting yet again.

Seriously, her boyfriend, who shall be un-nicknamed because I don't think he deserves one, constantly lies to her.

He lies to her about homework.

About him going home.

Everything.

I feel so sad for L because she's been crying every night.

Idiot. Can't he see that he's hurting her.

I'm so glad Prawn is not like that. Both him and I have to deal with the drama because it concerns us both.

He said to me that he's lucky we're not like that.

I'm happy too.

I can't stand the little squabbles we have and I can't imagine having to deal with the pressures of a huge fight.

On a lighter note, I'm still rooting for the H.S. and Paul to be together.
Won't that be cute.

I LOVE PRAWN!

2012-01-29T03:31:00.000-08:00

I made this for him in honor of him completing his program.

Now, as he said, he is an actual programmer rather than a student in programming.

I don't know. I guess it's a Comp Sci. thing.

Speaking of Comp Sci, look at what this geek did.

Can I just say how wonderful my boyfriend is right now?

Every time I think I top him with one of my many cheesy acts of love, he does something more.

Gah.

My Saturday so Far

2012-01-28T06:32:00.001-08:00

Prawn has his SATs today.

Hope he did fine.

I'm so glad I'm over with any external exams.

___CHECK____: SAT (twice)

___CHECK____: SAT Subject Test

___CHECK____: ACT Plus Writing

___CHECK____: TOEFL

Now, the real exams come up.

IB HL English Papers 1 and 2

IB HL History Papers 1, 2, and 3

IB HL Economics Papers 1, 3, and 3

IB SL Maths Papers 1 and 2

IB SL Biology Papers 1, 2, and 3 (seriously, sigh)

IB SL French Papers 1 and 2

CRAP!

I feel so unprepared.

Next week. Tuesday, I have my English orals.

Great.

Then Impromptu the following week because of SEA

Then French Orals

Then... I don't know anymore.

Frick!

Well, to cheer myself up. I wrote a long poem (well, longer than what I usually write) to Prawn.

My favorite line:

Every little gesture

Every move that you make

I fall in love with you

All over again

Sigh.

Today I felt like dancing.

So I did. In the confines of my room.

Then, I learned how to finger tut! :D

Well, I sorta attempted. Then it failed.

Quick Memoir

2012-01-27T09:39:00.000-08:00

On that Amazing Date, Prawn shouted in the rain, "I LOVE ____[ASB]____"

He's too good for me. I feel bad when I always desert him to talk to others.

New Year's Resolution: ACT MORE Girlfriend-y?

CNY and Other News

2012-01-27T06:22:00.000-08:00

The Picture was done by kosal on DeviantArt.

Happy (belated) Chinese New Year and Let's welcome the Water Dragon!

It's suppose to be a lucky year. In fact, I read in the newspaper today that a lady in Malaysia wants to perform IVF and be a surrogate for a Dragon Baby.

Yes, Dragon babies. Why are in demand?

Well, apparently, they are hardworking and have a fair chance for success.

I told my grandmother this (because she is a Dragon too) and she said, "Horoscope aje." Then, it said that Roosters (me) and Dragons (my grandmother) are compatible. Yay!

Let's start the week off with Chinese New Year celebrations.
After so long, more than 5 years, I managed to spend Chinese New Year and tagged along with my grandmother and my aunt.

It was nice because the houses that I usually go to did not change. It's just sad that I sit there in the corner while my grandmother, aunt, and my Chinese relatives speak in Cantonese or Mandarin.

I'm here:

I enjoyed eating the dishes served at my grandmother's older brother's house. It's vegetarian so I can eat it. Nyum. Nyum.

One of my relatives said that I should learn how to speak Chinese. Sigh. I wish I could. It's such a cool language, either Cantonese or Mandarin. Sadly, I fail at it. Oh well, I understand what's happening with body language and certain phrases that pop up that I know. So, I'm not so lost.

I received Ang pows. Yay! That was nice. I mean, I haven't seen them in so long and I still get money. This beats Hari Raya.

Okay. So it was time to return back to school.

I hated it. There was so much due and I slacked off. Thank god we only had 3 days of school this week. I was glad when the Weekend rolled in.

On Wednesday.
Back to School.

Ew. I mean, it was nice because I had two preps that day. But the 'ew' is knowing that you've done nothing and expect to be prepared for school.

The best part was Impromptu and having prep with Prawn. History was a joy to go to as always (no sarcasm intended). Math, a killer, I don't get the unit at all.

Coming home, my grandma didn't cook because she came home late from CNY partying the night before. So, we ate at Sri Petaling Sea Food Restaurant. I love their glass noodles.

Tons of homework to do, I just want to cry.

On Thursday.

BAD DAY of the WEEK.

I started out the day with uncompleted homework. As USUAL. Then, I was rushing because I had to pack before my taxi driver comes and, ARGH!.

At school, all the classes seemed so boring. I wanted to just run away.

English ORALS next week. FML.

French - ORALS too. I need to send her my speech. Fuudge.

Econ - had a surprise quiz. At least I did okay. Pure luck. (Grade in Econ, C. SAAAMSOOOOON. UPDATE!)

Bio - on and on. Seriously. She has to keep up the pace or keep the class in tact. I dislike Bio with a passion because of the way she teaches.

The good part was after-school, when I saw Mr. Psi. He's such an amazing teacher and looks to kill. So is Mr. Temp. Gah. I loved 11th grade.

Almost all my teachers were amazing and English and Bio were my fav. Good looking teachers. Yes. Creepy. But hey. :)

I calculated Mr. Temp's and my age difference. I actually considered being with him at one point. I even listened to the song "Don't Stand So Close to Me" because of that one implication.

"Young teacher, the subject

Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking - she's so close now

This girl is half his age"

So yeah.

Well yeah.

Okay. So Thursday ended a bit sour at school because I wasn't able to hang out with Prawn. It's tough because I also have to juggle my friends from the Lunch table.

I just don't want to be those type of girls that ditch their friends for their boyfriends.

What sucks for me is that I sometimes feel that I don't pay any attention to Prawn. (Marshmallow, don't feel guilty). I guess I still have traces of when I was still single for so long.

Speaking of Prawn, I had a little tiff with him yesterday night.
I was feeling a bit moody because it's almost the time of the month and I just didn't feel right.

So he started telling me a humorous story of how the cashier at the school's sandwich shopped started to ask him if he is free on Saturday.

Okay, I was a bit jealous, but I knew where the story was heading when he started. So I played along as the jealous girlfriend because I thought it would be awesome to troll him.

However, I think I couldn't control myself. It was weird.

Then, it was a small misunderstanding on both parts.

After that, I called him again, after he hung up. Then, I just felt bad. I mean, I didn't hang out with him today plus I just had a bundle of emotions that I couldn't control.

I miss my family. I am falling behind in IB. I just couldn't contain it.

Then, I bawled.

I cried a bit when I talked to him because it was the incorrect timing.

After crying for awhile, I felt slightly better. Plus, he tried to cheer me up, which was nice.

In the end, I managed to finish my history homework before the next day. Accomplishment of the semester.

FRIDAY.

So Friday started out amazing. I had a good dream the other night. I vaguely remembered that it was some romantic dream because I'm a hopeless romantic and all.

Then, I woke up later than usual because I didn't have to rush.

I had time to eat breakfast and shower. It was a good morning.

PLUS: my shorts fit me again.

Good music came on my iPod as well.

Overall, good start to the day.

Then, I came to school and I managed to read 3 pages of a book that I'm dying to read, Jerry Maguire's Wicked. I finally had a free morning. I managed to talk to Prawn as well.

Overall, a good morning indeed.

Then, I had my two preps in the morning. That was amazing. I got to rest and study for the math quest.

Akimal came. I think I was the only one who greeted him warmly.

Sorry Marshmallow. I had to. I guess it's because, deep down, I still think it's him. Despite the fact that he puffs a cig. I don't know. I feel indifferent about it.

I guess a friend is a friend. But at times, I can't stand the fact that he is a two-faced person. He'll be in a friggin' good mood when his precious ANNA is nice to him and whatnot.

Marshmallow, I have your back :)

Well, Akimal kinda took up most of my prep time with Prawn. But it's fine... I guess. SIGH.

Then, he left. I managed to grab lunch with Prawn before I had to go to Impromptu.

At least he is in a good mood as well. So, this makes up for a week ago where he said, "What am I worth to you?"

Somehow, remembering that still stings. I guess I have to get my priorities straight.

So far, I'm actually gonna start greeting him rather than he greet me. I just, STILL, feel so shy doing that. WHAT'S WRONG with ME!

Well yeah.
Going on with the day. I had Math after lunch.

The Quest. I didn't get the last question. I managed to finish it though. It was surprisingly not that bad.

I know everyone's been saying that the Quest was horrible, but I managed to do the first two questions and finished early. I guess I might get it wrong. I didn't study anyways.

Oh well.

Then History.
I really do love History class.
As my friend, Z, puts it, it is the only class that doesn't feel so long. I agree with her 100%. It doesn't seem dragging, which is weird because it's history. Odd.

Oh well. I did do the quiz today despite not studying for it, again. Oh well.

After-school. Amazing.

I had EE club and I actually worked because I finally got my adviser's comments back. Woopie.

STILL HAVE A LOT TO DO but she said there's potential.

Then. OMG.

Surreal.

I got accepted in a university. I was so amazed since I just sent in the application on January 5. Then, the decision was made Jan 25 and sent on Jan 27 through e-mail.
I couldn't contain myself. I asked Mr. P to let me out. I went to Ms. R and she threw glitter at me for celebration.

Then, I screamed in the hallways.

YES!

Well. It was a nice ending to a good day.

I was suppose to work tonight, but nah.

I'm blogging instead.

Sleeping soon.

Good night.

What's up with my friends?

2012-01-21T07:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the Senior Trip is officially off with my table group. I think it is both bad and good news.

Bad News:

I'm leaving behind the best people:

Desi Sister and Smiling Hotness along with my now Yaoi-obsessed friend, Ms Xu. Finally, we also leave behind my new friend, Zuzy. We have nicknames. I'm Yaya and she's Zuzu.

Good News:

We are leaving behind the drama and Ms Leader and Miss-you-not-to. Hehe. (I suck at nicknames, I'm sorry)

Yeah, drama is heating up as Marshmallow said to me. Argh! Can't stand it.

Plus, they keep suggesting Singapore.

To our fellow neighboring country, you are a fun city, but too expensive for a typical Malaysian.

So rather than having a drama-filled Senior Trip, both Marshy and I are following the Malaysian gang. Woohoo!

Added bonus: Prawn will be there.

Okay, now off of Akimal.

What's up with him? Well, so far, Rainbow (yes Marshy, I stole it) and Marshy blocked him from Skype. I can't blame them. He's been such as Ass lately.

He keeps talking about how girls are the root of all problems.

(Note: When he talks to me, he forgets that I'm a girl. I'm more of a BRO)

So I end up listening to what he says. What pisses me off is how he dislikes (a kinder version of what he said) Marshy. Gawsh. Just because she doesn't want to go to Prom with you or have, as you might think, a relationship, doesn't mean you can erase 2 years of friendship.

I guess it's all a lie. Sigh. Faith in humanity.

At least we still have our curly-haired afro friend, Mimi, who is the President of our Sexy Club.

Okay, so Sexy Club is what my other friend, Eyebrows, came up with because we have Extended Essay Club.

(Yes, Extended Essay Club is a club meant for those who slack of with their Extended Essay. Current members include Marshy, myself, Mimi, and Purple (stole from Marshy again))

For Akimal, I still talk to him because I can't seem to say goodbye to him. I don't know why. I guess I dislike the fact that I had to erase 2 years of friendship. Oh well.

But if he wants to be an Ass, I'll ignore him.

Moving on, well. I'm been considering Vlogging.
It's not really what I'm looking forward too, but I might try. MIGHT~

This is a very strong embarkment because I don't know how to use the camera nor do I know how to use any form of Video Editing.

As a PC user, I guess it's not possible. Why? Well, for Mac users, they have the benefit of iMovie. JOY! Plus, it'll be super-de-awesome to have a Mac.

But the disadvantages of Macs is that they do not have the Windows Microsoft Word that I have.

I have the 2007 Microsoft word version and what I love about it is that I can make it to Full Screen Reading and it's nice because it's like reading a book, but you can still write in it.

I know, weird.

Right now, I have finished watching a good video.

It's called Forever Yours by Alex Day. Video my Charlie McDonnell.

Nice nice nice.

Good night. Or Good Morrow.

Amazing Date

2012-01-21T07:26:00.000-08:00

*Hyperventilates*

I had one of the best dates ever.

This tops the Sunway and the first Subang Jaya one.

Well, today was Prawn's birthday.

So I decide to make it the best day of his life. You only have a birthday once right.

How it all started.

The night before, I made two rage comics for him to wish him Happy Birthday.

I'm sure Marshmallow has seen both of them.

I posted one 5 minutes before. Then I posted one right on his birthday.

So, I slept, waiting for 2 pm to start.

I came earlier because I wanted to get the tickets for the movie, which is Underworld: The Awakening. Then, I also made reservations to eat at T.G.I.Fridays. Today, I treated him because I want to thank him for treating me always in every other instance.

So, when he came. I surprised him from behind.

We walked around the shopping mall.

We talked a lot about many things. I learned more and more about his life.

It was interesting and the more I get to know him, the more I want to be with him.

Then, we ate dinner at 6pm. The TGIF people did not sing him Happy Birthday, to my dismay. Sigh. Oh well. We just had more time to ourselves.

After that, we had 1 hour left before the movie. So, we walked over to Empire, which is the mall that is behind Subang Parade.

We stopped by at The Loaf and ordered a drink. Then, again, more time to ourselves to talk and stuff.

Sadly, the date ended short because his parents called him back. It was my fault. I shouldn't have spent a date day on his birthday. So, we didn't get to see the movie.

Oh well.

When we had to say goodbye, it was raining. He was searching frantically for his car. When he saw his father's car, he stopped near some trees at a distance, so that his parents can't see. Then, we kissed in the rain, a goodbye and thank you kiss. It was amazing, like a scene from a movie.

When we had to say goodbye for the first time, I was sad because I couldn't see him anymore. He felt the same way. So, he turned around and said, "Goddammit, I can't do this." Then, he rushed towards me and hugged me and said our goodbyes once again.

Seriously, this guy is a romantic. Luckily, so am I.

WIN!

I managed to get his gift. It is a Liverpool Laptopper because:

a) Liverpool is his team

b) Our skype calls will be more comfortable for him

To answer Marshmallow's question, kissing him... a lot of times, but that's yah. ('Nuff said... awkwardly shuffling feet away)

Quick Update

2012-01-15T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'm so LUCKY to be with you. Oh Prawn!

Today, I was having the crappiest of days. Actually. Last week was hell.

I think, these couple of weeks are.

My EE is not done, along with other Internal Assessments and the dreaded TOK Paper.

I know, I shouldn't have procrastinated, but it's in my nature.

Crapp!

Then, he came on, on Skype, and everything felt better once more. I guess it's just him.

I'm suppose to be working on my homework right now, but somehow, I had to blog.

So, my friend, Leela, mentioned that Jen already has her prom dress. Ooh. Prom.

Need to get a dress soon.

Marshmallow?

Let's do a girls day, along with Leela, Sheeqa, Yi Lin and etc. (I suck at nicknames)

Okay.

So where was I.

Marshmallow reminded me about Valentine's Day.

Oh V-day. How I loathed it before. It was an excuse made my corporations to suck money from innocent, love-struck people.

Now, I wonder, what in the world should I do?!

Oh well. I'll save it for another blog.

Right now, WORK!

My Heart Skips a Beat

2012-01-06T04:20:00.001-08:00

Warning: This post will be very mushy

I guess I really really do love him.

My heart skips a beat every time I see him.

Whenever we Skype, I can't stop staring at his arms. Yes, I know. (Marshmallow: I'm sorry you have to read this).

I mean, god. They are so hot to look at. I guess it's just me.

Then today, when I opened Skype to show him my drawing, his shirt was unbuttoned from the top.

Reaction!

Picture by shinigamisagami at deviantart.com

Both are hot in their own way.

Yes, I think I'm acting all crazy again.

I guess it's going to be my time of month.

I remembered in a class trip in HK.

I had my GIRL MONTH at that time. Then, I started having weird desires to flirt with almost every guy at the mall.

I think my GIRL MONTH makes me crazy.

But yeah, going back to Prawn.

I guess, I don't know. It might just be love.

La la la. :)

Sorry if you were offended.

2012-01-05T07:58:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the many opinionated posts.

I hope none of you were offended.

I wrote those posts when I was in 8th grade. I guess I was a bit of a liberal, but a hypocrite as well.

Ho-hum.

Another Ranting.

2012-01-05T07:56:00.002-08:00

Number 3.

Source: http://ducle.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/nick-ut-kim-phuc-vietnam-war.jpg

Sometimes I wonder, what did the Americans do to HELP the world?

Yes, help the world.

Okay, fine, they are the biggest superpower, but name one thing that the Americans have done over the pre-Obama years.

Recently, I have visited the Vietnam War Musuem, and it was just too painful. There were gory pictures of innocent Vietnamese children and women being shot, burnt, and maimed. Then, there was a picture of American soldiers posing around a headless body, and one soldier was proudly holding the detached head.

I was disgusted!

In the end, the Americans claimed that they have fixed the problem just to show the world that they are the SUPER HEROES!

What did they do? The Nam War was a failed war, and so was all the other wars created by them. Primary example: IRAQ!

What is up with them? Can't they see if they resolve these by talking, but that's what you get if your president was a WAR ADDICT.

Thank God for Obama. Finally, the United States could find hope and gain back the respect that they have lost during the Bush, Nixon, etc. era.

Oh well, we just have to wait...

USA, another land for immigrants?

2012-01-05T07:56:00.001-08:00

You may think that I am crazy to think that the US is a land of immigrants but I think that it is true. I mean, I have been studying the US history and the people living there are basically immigrants from Britain.

Okay, there were the Red Indians but their population shrinks because of the European conquerors. Then, the white (British) people came to seek land away from the king. They brought in black (African) slaves. With the growing population of the two factions, no wonder that the US is a country.Then came other people from different lands such as Chinese, Japanese, Russians, French, etc. With the growing immigrants, the US became what it is now.

Sure, I am being racist and against the US but I assure you that I am not. I am just speaking my opinion.

I want to say that America ain't that powerful since they are made up of everyone in the world. Asians, Africans, Europeans. You can't call yourself true Americans because you were not born there. Even the Native Americans, you are not native since some sources tells us that you came from Asia.

Sorry for being all racy, but try to think about it. What makes the Whites of America more powerful than the rest. Is it because of their power and wealth. Oh well, we will just have to see what happens then.

Asian "Hospitality"

2012-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

I decided to post some stuff from my second blog, which only has four post. So this is number 1.

Ever thought about how when a foreigner comes, Asians would smile very big and give them more attention than the usual Asian buyers.

That's how it is usually been in Asia. They prioritize the foreigners than their own kind. What I mean by foreigners is westerners, europeans, etc. If other Asians go to an Asian country, they would still be considered foreigner, but due to the Asian look, they would be treated normally, with not excessive attention.Also, the Asian "hospitality" is given to countries that are considered to be richer or more famous than the country.Why can't the world recognize that each country has its flaws and that is why they should work it out.

The Asian "Hospitality" is basically to promote the country, but it's popularity amongst other Asian countries will soon plummet... Sometimes it may not because the country would be nice. This shows that the Westerners has taken over because more people tend to their needs.

The Asian Rule
"If you aren't white, you're out!"

She might be your typical, nice stall lady, but deep down, she's charging you more. Beware her tourist trap!

Homework? Really?

2012-01-05T07:28:00.000-08:00

A lot of work to do.

So little time.

What am I suppose to do?

SLACK or DO Work.

MEH.

I did not draw this. It is by Hilary-CW on deviantart.com

The drawing is my favorite pairing from Harry Potter. Rose Weasely and Scorpius Malfoy. I mean, I'm all for the Harry, Ron, and Hermione generation, but the next generation is so much for fun to read about because fans can manipulate them.

My favorite is Now or Never by queenb23.

I am also in Avatar: The Last Airbender.

M. Night brought shame to that scared title.

This drawing is by Blue-Ten on deviantart.com

This is Aang. He is an Avatar, master of all elements.

Somehow, Avatar reminded me of:

When I was younger, I used to badger my mother into buying me comic magazines. One of them was W.I.T.C.H. I loved this comic because it so interesting. It's amazing. I wish they still published it now. The author is Elisabetta Gnone and W.I.T.C.H. is a part of Disney Italia.

So, the characters have all the elements: Air, Water, Fire, Earth, and the Heart of Kandrakar.

So: Here are the characters.

Will Vandom - Heart of Kandrakar

Imra Lair - Water

Taranee Cook - Fire

Cornelia Hale - Earth

I learned the name Caleb here, because her boyfriend was called Caleb. I always used that name when I write my fanfictions or stories. I was shocked to know that there is Caleb in real life. Haha.

Hay Lin - Air

My favorite character is Hay Lin.

I love her because:

A) My horoscope (part of the magazine) said I'm like her

B) Her element is Air, which means that she is a pretty laid-back person.

Besides procrastinating on fandom, I am hooked on Fairy Tail. I remembered reading the manga awhile ago, but I stopped because I forgot what volume I was on. So I couldn't be bothered to buy it.

Then, I started again. Why? I guess it's timing. My brother and L talk about Fairy Tail, so I was like, why not give it another go.

I love it.
It's adventure that takes me away from real life.

Yes, I've been a busy bee.

Hopefully I'll be busy to those that count.

Musings. Just me again.

2012-01-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

I guess I can't help it. I have to write.

Sometimes, bottling up your feelings is unhealthy.

So this is what I have been to lately:

Writing Supplements
Paying for College Apps Fee
Worrying about Financial Proof Forms

I highly doubt I can get into university anymore. I've been missing deadlines and missing documents. Seriously, I am feeling sick now. I could barely sleep last night.

I waited till 4 am to call a university, but their phone line was busy. Then, I could not sleep from 4am to 6am because I was stressed out about Financial Proof documents. So, I had to cure my anxiety by sleeping in my grandmother's and aunt's room.

Somehow, the warmness of my grandmother, as I lay beside her, calmed my beating heart. I guess, even though my granny can be annoying, I have to cherish every moment with her.

I missed out on cherishing the moment with my other late-grandmother (father's side).

Before I left for Jakarta, my mother, my brother, and I had lunch. We started talking about my Opah.

I realize that she never showed us as much love because of timing. You see, my grandfather married again to another woman during the time around my parents' wedding. So, my Opah didn't really bothered as much with my parents' wedding because she has to deal with her drama.

When my brother and I were born, my step-aunts were also born around the same time (1993 and 1995). So, again. My mother said, "It's timing. I guess we remind her of her tough times."

But in a way, I regret not knowing my Opah as much. She was a great woman from what I read in my father's eulogy.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is... Don't forget the ones you love, you'll never know when they might just leave you.

Okay okay. So what was I writing about again? Oh yeah, college.

I hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

But I guess that's college for you.

I have re-designed by blogger. I think it looks nice. :)

I love the patterns. Maybe I'll make it my hobby to change it once a week or once a month.

I hope now that I can use colors.

First Post of the New Year!

2012-01-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

Wow. 2012, it's finally here.

I'll be graduating this year and that's the scariest part of it all. Finally, there will be no more mollycoddling from my parents, aunt, and granny. I'll have to be an independent woman!

List of things to learn before I go off:

How to do laundry
How to cook (decent food)
How to manage money
Le Rent?
SO MANY MORE!

I can't do it! I don't want to go to university! I'm too scared to leave the nest!

On the plus side, I've sent of 2 out of my 8 applications to the USA. I think my McGill University application, I don't need to do anything, right? I'm so lost with Canadian schools. GEEZ!

Okay, I've sent three of my NINE applications now! Yay! 1/3 done!

OMG! I'm so excited, but still.

New Year, hopefully no more troubles with mon BF.

I don't know. I told him to have an A-free week, but whenever he's on, I just don't feel like talking to him as much.

What's wrong? I think I just need a bit of a break. I have a lot of work to do and I can't be bothered with matters of the heart.

I think I'm turning into a rational, emotionless person. I grew up.

ARGH!

Well, off to work. Maybe slowly, the work is draining my emotions away. Yay! Boo! hgld fdf

Tumblr-ing

2011-12-30T06:14:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a bit too late to start obsessing over the legendary Harry Potter actors, but I recently found a gif about Tom Felton and I melted inside.

Tom friggin Felton. He's so OMG!

Well, I feel kinda down so I had to resort to the Internet to cure me.

It all started today. I just got back from my holiday.

Then, I received a message from Prawn. He sounded very sad. I played along, trying to cheer him up and what not.

But I REALLY REALLY hate it when he goes

"And yeah, I am being an ass, admit it"

I hate it when he does that. It's like, dude, gawd. I can't seem to express it in words because it's just so frustrating.

I don't know. Rough patch. Maybe.

Worse part. I don't think his parents like me at all.

I can't blame them. He can't seem to focus at all these days. Then, his dad told him that THIS relationship won't last.

I wanted to say, "You're dad is right."

Okay, truth comes out. I'm being rational here. I do NOT believe in long-distance at ALL.

It's just that it never works out. I'm trying to see Prawn and I after high school ends, but it just can't seem to work at all.

What is wrong with me?

I just need time to think.

Butts... Boobs... Blegh!

2011-12-30T04:21:00.000-08:00

I love my family, especially my mom. We just talk and tease each other about our butt and boobs.

Me: Mama, I turned around and I only see the floor

Implying that I have no butt at all, but rather a blob of blegh

Mama: (Laughs) Well, you must have gotten the Zabedah (my late grandmother) "curse." (Points to my boobs).

Me: Well I guess. Maybe for you, when you look down front-wise, you see the floor.

(After some really loud laughing)

Me: Today, H threw something on my chest and it stayed there. You pulak?

Mama: Okay, let's see.

I grabbed my jacket and placed it on her chest. It fell down. Then, I placed it on my chest, and it stayed for awhile. Hehe.

Me: You see. Hahaha. But the sad part is that I can't wear many shirts/dresses. When we went to Bandung, I was so sad when I found my size, but I can't wear it because the chest line is so tiny.

Mama: Laughs.

So that's basically a snippet of my conversations with my mommy.

I hate work!

2011-12-29T10:56:00.000-08:00

Work! Work! Work!

I hate it. I wish it could die in a hole.

I look at the amount of college essays and, on top of that, EE!

I haven't finished any and my hair is starting to fall again.

Great!

Turns out, I missed one month of menses.

It's all because of stress.

I hope that it won't be another repeat of last year, when I had my cyst surgery. However, my sides are starting to hurt again. I don't want another surgery. Oh please, I hope this is nothing.

I agree with HY, looking at people's FB status' about "I've been accepted to _____" bugs me a lot too.

I hope someone accepts me. But then again, I need to submit.

Why do I do this to myself?

Trip to Bandung and Puncak

2011-12-29T10:51:00.000-08:00

Naturally, we went sight-seeing when I was in Indonesia.

First, we went to the shopping district... Bandung.

It is like factory outlets but branded. So, you could get something that was originally worth USD$44 for about RM 30. Amazing!

I shopped a bit, but not a lot. I'm not a huge fan of shopping. If HY was here, she would have loved it.

So, nothing much in Bandung, personally.

Besides Bandung, we also went to Puncak at the Animal Safari.

We used our 4WD car and drove in the animal park.

It was amazing. All the animals were up close. Some of them popped their heads into our car.

We fed them carrots and bananas.

When we were at the Tiger and Lion place, my mom pulled down the windows because she wanted to take a picture of the animals.

Put us all in danger, much? Oh Mama.

So far, it was fun.

I liked Puncak better because of the animals.

Zebra fur is so soft. :)

As a Family Again

2011-12-29T10:37:00.000-08:00

On Dec 17, I flew of to Jakarta with my aunt. The flight was okay, but the kid behind me started kicking my seat. I wanted to strangle the child. I mean, I like children, but when I'm cranky and it's a plane, I feel like banning all the snotty kids from riding the plane. The crying babies are the worse.

Parents, control your child, please!

So, we arrived at the Sukarno-Hatta Airport. I was happy because it's like History coming alive.

I was overjoyed when I saw my dad at the airport to pick us up. I ran to him, with the trolley and gave him a giant hug.

At home, I saw my mom and brother. I felt at home once again. The surprise was seeing my dear Esteban again. I miss him so much. He used to be my diary.

Staying with my parents, I really do miss them. I miss all the jokes we have. The dynamics of my family can never be replaced. I regret not coming here, but at the same time, I don't want to leave Malaysia. It was a tough decision, but I guess it is up to me to see how this ends.

Luckily, the people in Malaysia made me feel like it was worth staying here for another year.

So, back to the Life in Indonesia update.

I think that if I stayed here, I'll learn to be patient.

The jam here is horrendous. It takes 1 hour plus to go just about anywhere.

The reason: CARS and MOTORBIKES and BUSES combined with small roads. On top of that, Jakarta is one of the densest places on Earth.

It felt like BD all over again, but worse. Your butt gets cramped in the car.

However, they have Yoshinoya here. Yoshinoya has the Beef Bowl, which I enjoy a lot. But after not having it for a long time, I got bored of it.

The people in Indonesia are a mix. I don't know what to say. They are interesting. I can't seem to understand them at times because of the accent. They know that I'm a Malaysian because of my accent when I speak Malay.

It is very different. I mean, I can understand Malay by Malaysians fairly well. Coming here, I was challenged.

HY, if you spoke Malay here or tried to understand Malay, I think it's best that you speak in English.

Level of Linguistics here is high.

My parents' house is friggin awesome. I love climbing up and down the stairs.

I think I just naturally love houses. I got that from my dad. He loves to feel 'grounded.' My mommy is the apartment lady, she loves the city.

Life in Jakarta is pretty much comfortable with my family beside me. I enjoyed every bit of it, just being with them.

Eating as a family is different from eating at my grandmother's house. We actually eat together. When we eat, we talk. I felt so much better, as though we are connected. At my grandmother's, everyone eats at different times. No one asks, "How was your day?" I felt blah at times.

Being with my brother is the best. I finally have a friend that I could play with at home. My cousin is not so much good company. My brother and I, we just click.

So far, life as a family makes me feel happy. I wish that this holiday is longer. I don't want to go back and be alone again.

Love Life UPDATE

2011-12-29T08:41:00.001-08:00

Okay, I guess I haven't been on the blog for ages.

I guess it's because I'm too caught up with work.

So, to begin with. I shall be entertaining you guys with my love life.

First of, he is now called Prawn or Har Mee because of his first name. (My aunt came up with this because she was teasing me about it).

From the Beginning

Okay, so I'll start with the first month.

How he asked me out.

On Friday, I was anticipating a question because L and all were saying, "He'll ask. He'll ask." So I stayed back, waiting. I even skipped Prism. (Oops, sorry V.)

Nothing. Nada. Rien.

So, I was about to give up. I was also tired because I had another all-nighter the night before. So I slept in the taxi. (Don't do this, very dangerous unless the taxi driver is a friend).

When I got home, I was surprised to get 6 missed calls from him. (My phone is always on silent) Then, I was lucky to pick up a call from L. She said, "A, why don't you pick up. Tarzan is worried sick!"

I called him straight after.

Then, as I called. My heart pumped really quickly because I was excited.

He picked up. I played coy, not knowing what happened. Then, he started referencing Hey Arnold, which made me smile a lot. Then, he asked me out.

The entire phone conversation was 45 mins of just us saying, "Is this real?" "Are you smiling?" "Gah" and some silence.

We had our first outside date at Sunway two days after. (Sunday).

Okay. So Sunway was very awkward. I couldn't find the perfect outfit. SO frustrating.

Then, it turned out okay. Watched a movie. Walked. Hung out.

He surprised me with a kiss on the cheek at the end.

The first month was awkward on many levels because for both of us, it's our first bf/gf.

School was awkward. I'm still so use to single life.

Then, my parents found out.

My mom is dead set against it because she thinks that my studies will fall.

My dad said it's okay but be careful.

So, basically, he is now a good friend, real good friend.

Turns out, as time passes by, it was okay.

I was worried at first, thinking that I said yes too quickly. I mean, I got over KL a week before I liked Prawn. Then, this girl, FID said "Do you really like him?"

After that, I was having second thoughts. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to tell anyone about it because I wanted to work it out by myself. Then, I started freaking out. I barely saw him because I was still figuring things out. On top of my parents kinda not supporting it, I was about to give up again.

But whenever I see him, I feel elated. I just... I dunno. I thought I said yes because I wanted a boyfriend. But then, I realize, after some time, I said yes because I like him.

So, it became better after that.

Then, before I left to see my family in the Country Across the Sea, I managed to see him again. Second outside date.

It was at Subang Parade.

I can not see another Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf without thinking of what happened.

He kissed me.

(I don't think Senior Lounge surprise kiss counts)

Gah, it was amazing. I think I did make the right decision saying yes.

To HY, I hope this is not rushing it. I thought it was at first, then I was like. Couldn't be? I don't know. Writing about this makes me feel so tingly inside.

Skyping with each other till late at night. Once, I skyped with him till 6am.

I guess I miss him too much.

Oh well.
So, here goes Update post #1

Expectation Vs. Reality

2011-12-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

So, I'm now stuck on my TOK essay and not really giving any crap about it.

But then again, it is due tomorrow.

But midnight tomorrow.

Ah, loopholes. How I love you!

So, right now. I feel like blogging.

So, I guess by my last last post, I've told y'all that I have a boyfriend.

Well, it's been 3 weeks now! :D

He's pretty amazing in terms of being tolerant with my hectic schedule.

I was pretty worried. I thought that I sucked in the relationship because of my busy schedule.

So, we talked. And now it's cool.

My friend Eva is pretty annoyed (playfully) that we haven't hugged in front of her eyes to see.

Hehe.

Musical Squares

2011-12-06T08:36:00.001-08:00

http://limey404.tumblr.com/post/13767522463/thexfirstxnoelle

THIS SITE IS A MUST.

CLICK ON THE SQUARES!

FUCK YEA!

2011-11-18T04:28:00.001-08:00

AH AH AH!

OMG.

I Friggin
HAVE

BOYFRIEND

Wow.

2011-11-17T05:19:00.000-08:00

Today, I had to usher for the MS Play.

Prior to that, I was avoiding Tarzan the entire day. Actually, the whole week I've been avoiding the deck.

Why?

Well, it's awkward.

I am not really pining for him. Really. Whatever. I've been too hurt with crushes and crushes just suck. So I wasn't bother.

You know, I actually tried really hard to just forget about it.

That is why Q is there. I release all my frustration to him.

So he is my punching bag.

I should give him something tomorrow. I feel so bad that he is always the person I go to to torture. Oh well. <3 to him I guess.

Okay. So after school. After the play, I told Tarzan that I am done.

He said to come to the deck.

I don't want to because everyone will be like, "Hey" and I will feel super weird.

So, I typed "Find me."

I thought that he wouldn't do it.

So I just wandered around the canteen because I didn't want to go. But then, I was like, "WOMAN Up." So I started to walk back. Then, I saw him coming to the canteen. I quickly took the opportunity to go to the deck.

Yes, everyone was smirking.

I saw him FIVE times, but I didn't say anything. It was funny to see the effort on his face.

Then, I was going to give up and go upstairs to see HY.

Then, he came running towards me. I closed my eyes. Then, he stopped.

Wow. I can't believe he took it seriously.

Then, we just talked. Everyone left.

Thanks guys, not. But it was not awkward. We just talked about our day, which is how we usually start to say.

Then, he got me a friggin' apple.

He's been treating me a lot. Well, three times. But more than anyone has ever had and not expect any pay back. The first two were because he lost a bet. This time, I dunno.

Actually, he told me to pick the dessert stuff that the canteen has, but I disliked it. Too blegh.

So I choose an apple and he got it for me.

Now. I dunno. What will happen next?

Well tomorrow. I'll see if my Find Me trick works again.

Love These Lyrics - A Moment to Breathe.

2011-11-15T03:52:00.001-08:00

Suddenly, a wild song appears.

Here it Goes by OK Go

My favorite part:

Just when you think that you're in control,

Just when you think that you've got a hold,

Just when you get on roll,

Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.

Shuffling through the music and every friggin' song is just conveying what I'm feeling right now.

Then, the dreaded, by awesome song came, Reptilia by The Strokes.

Crap.

Oh well.

Today in Prep, I had a relaxing four minutes of peace, or something.

I was with Pep. and he went to get lunch while I waited at the deck.

Then, I was thinking too much about all these things that are due.

I had to much, so I laid down on the bench.

I closed my eyes and told myself not to worry.

It was pretty relaxing. I didn't want the moment to end, but I had too.

Then Pep. came back and we started talking about memes. Hehe :)

The best thing about today: Impromptu.

I miss V so much and Impromptu is the best!

After school, I ran on the tread mill.

Usually, I would jog at a lame, but okay pace like 6.0 because I'm lazy like that. :)

But today, I went to 7.0. Then, 10.0. I wanted to run away.

I started thinking about a lot of things today. Things that I can and can't deal with.

Now, the Leel. and Mist. thing is starting to heat up.

Apparently, Leel. told Mist. off on an email that GYRee told me about. In GYRee's POV, Leel. was mean. So, I asked Leel. and Leel. was like, I think she deserved it (which I totes agree).

I don't get it, according to GYRee, Mist. didn't want to sit next to her Japanese friends because there is some kind of hatred that the Japanese girls have towards her. But according to Leel, Mist. would always talk to them.

I don't know and I don't want to see it end negatively.

Screw this.

On a lighter note, tomorrow is our hangout. I am NOT calling it the D-word because it is not true. I hope Mo comes. At least there will be something to tease. Hehe.

He skipped B-ball for it. Haha.

Gawd. I am terrible.

It's just like the lyrics above. Here it Goes Again.

According to a little L birdie, she said that I won't regret liking him.

Suspicious now.

90th Post

2011-11-14T05:56:00.000-08:00

So right now, I'm suppose to:

A) Study for Paper 3 on Malaysian History

B) Do Math Homework

C) Finish TOK Introductory Paragraph

Right now. I guess I've said F.U to all of them.

Well. I guess I have to admit it.

I do like him. Ish.

To Crush or Not to Crush?

2011-11-13T04:40:00.000-08:00

Source: http://timberboy.wordpress.com/

I've been wondering about love lately.

I've just been confused as to whether or not to crush or not to crush?

In fact, I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't.

But why am I vehemently protesting against it.
I don't know. I guess it was nice to have someone to talk to. But really, stupid heart.

I don't know.
Check back in a week. Maybe it's just a phase.

Pon&Zi, Memories of a Wannabe Emo Past

2011-11-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

I remember Pon&Zi like it was yesterday. When I was in 7th grade, my friends and I were in this emo phase. It was quiet funny since being emo was associated with cool. I never got that. Why emo?

Well I guess the artwork for EMO is better than the artwork for PREPPY. But I guess it was something to associate myself with.

But I never can.

I can never frown in front of people. Always smiling.

But I'm not a manic depressive or anything.

Who knows? I'm always shocked when I see a friend of mine cut her wrist with a person's name that she liked. I was like, (Jackie Chang WTF face).

Then I guess, attention or just going totally Hardcore.

Who knows?

But please, do not ever cut yourself.

I was a wannabe. Give me a blade and I'll walk away.

Looking back, I would always feel so different. I've been the "FAT ONE" in the family for ages and I still am (sans mon pere). Whenever I meet my mother's friends, I always know that they will think, "How can this be your daughter?"

I guess it was mostly my insecurities, but I never felt 'right'.

Now, I feel happier. I guess it must be the shedding of 20 kgs. But it feels amazing.

Although sometimes I might get a bit moody, I'm hurt others and, even more, myself.

With great friends, I've never felt like the odd one out, but I always do.

It feels so weird to look back at an old photo and said, was that me.

I hope to make up for my unfulfilled childhood in the future.

One of my goals when I was younger was to be more confident in a swim suit.

Lately, I've just done that. I've shed of surfer wear, like the one below, as an exo-shirt. I hide my swim suit underneath this.

Now, I can bravely go out to the swimming pool and not give a damn at what people say. Sorta.

My most horrible experience was at camp. At that time, I wasn't self-conscious yet. So, my friend told me, after I left the pool, a guy said, "Thank god the elephant left."

Thankfully, I shunned that horrible mocking of me and went on to enjoy a good time at camp. I made friends to, so (Middle Finger) to you, bigot.

This last picture isn't insinuating anything. I just thought it looked pretty.
It reminds me of all the crushes I had and all the times I thought, "He must like me." Only to have my heart deflated.

I'm so happy I didn't associate any songs to KL or else I can never hear that song again.

When I was in 7th grade, I had this huge crush on a dude name Austin. So, my friend told me to dance with him at a school dance. The song: Far Away by Nickleback. I can never listen to that song the same again. Why? Well, I thought that he liked me. So then, after the dance, we chatted on msn. Then, omg. I can't even remember.

All I remember is sending an e-mail that said, I apologized for being a bitch.

Then, I had LG. Oh god. That was Here Without You by Three Doors Down. Now, I don't even know where it is on my music library. Hehe.

If I do like, not saying I do, but if.

You know, what. Never mind.

Source: http://www.azuzephre.net/azuzephre.net/Home.html

Artwork of Pon&Zi by Jeff Thomas.

Peace Out.

Surprise Surprise

2011-11-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

I've been a bit emotional these days and I guess, it's because I'm not exercising enough. Oh well.

Right now. I've been searching for some places to get the best senior trip.Okay, so no Singapore. But then, our choices are down to Malaysia and China. I don't want to particularly go on a trip to Malaysia since it's not the senior trip I imagined.

So, I decided to check on Bali and Thailand. Also, I'm searching for places that grabs the interest of everyone. As a result, I'm searching for Vegetarian-friendly places, because our resident vegetarian needs to be happy too. Then, to deal with our shopping-lovers, I've done my research as well.
Bad news. Bali during Summer is fully booked. What to do! We can go mid-summer, but will everyone still be here? Ahh!

I've been snooping around the Internet and I found my mother's blog.

Here blog is very hard to find and I've done my fair share of spying to find her blog. I know, it's terrible, but I just want to find pictures of her trip to Bali.

Then, I saw this. (CLICK HERE)

I've been such a tool to my mom and I can't even describe why. When I started reading this, tears came down my eyes. I hate this. I didn't mean to be so bad to my mother, but when you're angry, you do this.
I promise to never to this again to my mom. She's done so much and I treat her like shit. I need to start getting my act together.

On a lighter note, I've been doing nothing today but search for places. It's so beautiful to see all these islands and stuff. I'm so amazed at the beauty in this world.

So, I guess Tarzan finally downloaded all the Hey Arnold! episodes.

Okay, so it's not awkward in that sense, but that means. Ah! I dunno.
I mean, I've never talked to a guy for longer than 1 hour tops (and that's just Aki-maul).
But nah. He is a friend. Period. This will haunt me this entire week. Oh well. I hope it's just post-crush behavior.
Who knows?

Watching the TLC channel to find some ideas on where to go.
Taipei anyone?

Random Hey Arnold Shots

2011-11-11T10:53:00.000-08:00

If you can't read, it says:

I want to meet, and fall in love with a boy EXACTLY like Arnold.

This is my phone's wallpaper. I've been obsessing over this Football Head for the past couple of weeks.

If you can't read, it says:

As a child, Hey Arnold provided me with a proper world view. As an adult, Hey Arnold provides me with a proper concept of love.

If you can't read:

I love Arnold so much more when he's pissed off.

If you can't read:

I refuse to date anyone who hates this show.

Source: http://hellyeahheyarnold.tumblr.com

I WON

2011-11-11T10:38:00.000-08:00

Through the beauty of hard work, I won.

So now, Tarzan owes me drinks on Monday and McD Wednesday.

I know, HY, I'm suppose to be on a diet. But free drinks man. :)

Teehee.

Peace, love.

asb

Week In Recap

2011-11-11T08:10:00.000-08:00

Happy Note:

Oct 9th, 2011: YTF Day in Hawaii

Another Week, or Two Weeks in Recap.

I've not blogged since forever. So I guess I should start now.

Where to begin?

Well, my friends and I are planning on our senior trip next summer. Can't wait! But then the downside is the DAMN division in our group.

It's been a white elephant since the beginning of last year. There is a clear line between the two separate groups.

Sigh. I don't like to choose and I have no idea who to choose.

Also, I don't want to go to Singapore for the senior trip. It's just a waste of time.

I rather have an adventure. Get lost somewhere and find our way back to the hotel.

Therefore, if we can go anywhere, I would choose Bali or some fun islands in Thailand. That's always been my dream, but I guess there are people with different opinions.

For those Haters of Other People (G and Mist.) Get the FRIK Over IT!

Okay, for those sun-haters. We are in South East Asia. Deal with IT!

I can't seem to get why people are like that. I might be a bit hypocritical because of my odd mood one day and I said I didn't want JW. Well, I believe in KARMA and I would take that back if I could.

My dogma: Never treat people terribly. It worked out bad when I do.

So, I'm sorry JW. Hopefully this public apology will be enough.

On a lighter note.

Right now, I'm battling with Tarzan to see who sleeps first. We've been talking from 6PM to 1AM now. I wonder who sleeps first. Mwahaha!

I don't know. After the GAP Week, I started talking to him more and more. He's a bro at heart. Peace yo!

If you're curious (HY... ahem), we usually talk about random things like Hey Arnold. Nicknames for the win! :) And just random things. I dunno.

BUT NO. I refuse to give in to Cupid's arrow.

Speaking of Cupid's arrow, I finally see KL for who he truly is. It's so funny. Now, I see him as a kid. Then, I realize, in my crush time frame, I called him mature.

Oh well, MUN is starting. Maybe, he'll be happy to see his crush.

I'm a jellyin'. Not really. Just, I realize that he is in a cycle too. I don't know if he still likes her, but oh well.

On the subject of crushes, I have two teachers who are rumored to be going out. It's quite interesting and yet creepy. Why? Well, One teacher, I like because he is an awesome teacher and all. One teacher, I'm indifferent about. She teaches fast, which I like (sorta), but she is a bit of a meanie.

I guess love comes in many ways.

This week. EVA, well. She umm. She broke up with Mustachio. THANK GOD. Haha. Never really liked them as a couple. And her 'interest' with Benny is gone.

Now, it's this guy who I would label as Hippie Punk (HP for short). They

are cute, but I'm still in shock. Why must EVA have such shocking love interest. I dunno. But she is my favorite French Friend and I love her to bits.

There's an interesting phrase, "I'm single, ready to mingle, want some pringles." Or something like that.

I was shocked at Q's hairstyle this week. It looks somewhat, interesting. If you're insinuating anything, DON'T. I hope nothing will happen. I can't. Why? Mon amie, Sheeq, elle l'aime. Alors, I can't do anything. Even if she ended liking him, she still does. Trust me. A crush doesn't go by just like that.

Just one of my observational skills.

Did you know? I love to stare at people and study them. Not creepily, just observe. If you are my friends, I'm sorry. But yah. It's so interesting to see a liar from an innocent. Just have to look.

In the Who Can Stay Up Late Competition, I think I'm winning. Yes!

That means he is treating me to either McD or Subway on Wed.

If he wins, God Forbid. I have to run on the treadmill at 10 speed for 5 mins or more. Damn it. I don't want to run.

So I can't lose!

Okay. I'll post it now.

Peace Love.

I'll still be up all night. We'll see.

Why am I even here?

2011-11-07T05:02:00.001-08:00

I'm suppose to be doing my World Lits but I keep getting distracted by:

a) 9gag

b) Facebook

c) Tarzan

d) Blogger

What to do. I can't work anymore.

I've lost interest in things.

When will there be another holiday.

So Trying out Blogger App

2011-11-05T08:00:00.001-07:00

So trying riser if blogging from my iPod actually works.

Update: Tomorrow is Hari Raya Korban and it means spending time with the relatives. Woohoo! (hint of sarcasm there)

It's Time to Say Bye to Lunchtime

2011-11-05T00:34:00.001-07:00

So I guess I'll start my busy schedule once again.

Since Impromptu will begin, I won't be joining my friends for lunch anymore, which sucks.

During the final two days of this week, I did not even come down for lunch. I was so caught up finishing a presentation that I just forgot all about food. Amazing right.

I'll be missing my lunch table gang. :(

I found two cockroaches that were shagging behind a trash can in my house.

DISGUSTING!

P.S:

I feel so empty without a crush. My mind will wander to other men. Please, I beg you Scumbag Brain, don't do this to me.

It's Mine

2011-11-05T00:31:00.000-07:00

Always happens to me:

Freedom!

2011-11-02T04:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I'll be happy to say this, but I'm 100% of KL. It's quiet sad, but not really.
Now, the rose-colored glasses are off and I don't think that everything he says will imply that he likes me.

So, it's all cool.

In a way, I'm sad because I can't seem to channel my Romantic Rage on anyone.
But I would always have ARNOLD:

Source: http://heyarnoldconfessions.tumblr.com/

Yes, I've been tumblr-ing the past few days. I would say that Tumblr suits my needs better than 9gag since it filters out the man-jokes and just gives me the good old fashion FAN GIRL moment *squeal*.

Lately, I've been talking to this guy, Tarzan, who is pretty cool. We exchanged numbers and I got to know that he is a Hey Arnold fan too. Can't wait till graduation since we have plans to watch all these old cartoons before we go off to college.

Growing old is harsh. Age is a bitch.
I've always had a problem with my emotions. I will have these random "feelings" whenever I think too far to the future. In brief, I'm scared of dying.
Where will we go from here? I'm always too afraid to question or even begin to think about it.

So far, it's pretty easy to talk to everyone nowadays. Yay!
But I think I'm moving on from my old group (kinda).

I guess it's getting to awkward since most of my old group friends do not seem to understand what I understand. Sorta.

I still have a few lifelines there (ie: HY, Leel, Jes., etc.) but even Leel. doesn't want to really sit with our old group anymore.
I guess for Leel., it's because of Mist. She is a really pain in the behind to Leel. because she has something against her. I don't know what, but so far, it's the same response as what she did to JenLee. Her attitude really has to adjust in order for her to make actual friends. I don't know.

So today at lunch, I don't know if it was choice or the table was full, but Leel. and Sumin decided to come and sit next with me and the Malaysian gang (plus Z). :D I guess Leel. doesn't want to face Mist. as much. Who knows?

Speaking of lunch, there was a parent-sponsored lunch today. It was spectacular. I love it when parents give us free food. :D

After lunch, I finally became more focused to do my papers.
:D
It was after I quit looking at http://lmaogtfo.tumblr.com/ that I finally got started. Yes, I've been free from 9gag. No more. Now, it's this bah-u-tiful tumblr. Hehe.

So, I guess Freedom can mean both a freedom from KL and a freedom for 9gag.

Viva la Vie!

A Janae 79

2011-10-29T02:08:00.000-07:00

http://ajanae79.deviantart.com/art/How-I-DESPISE-HIM-And-yet-200979153?q=gallery%3Aajanae79%2F29244683&qo=0

Helga. Basically, that's me. :)

Nerdy side :)

2011-10-29T01:38:00.001-07:00

Confession time.

I search deviantART to check out Fan Comics and Fan Comics on my favorite TV Shows.

A few people know that I still watch cartoons. Even Saturday Mornings, I would flip between TV3, NTV7, Cartoon Network, Disney, and Nickelodeon.

However, TV3 and NTV7 have a better cartoon lineup.

Today, I started watching Young Justice, which is about the apprentices of the Justice League. So, it's Kid Flash (love him), Robin, Aqualad, etc. Can't wait till next week to find out if Superboy will join their team (which is like, Duh, of course).

Then, at 12:00pm, I would always try to catch watching Total Drama Island. I've watched the episodes for Total Drama World Tour on Youtube and I've fallen in love.

Gah. Having so much fun looking up FanArt.

Never want to grow up! :)

Charlieeee~ and other Things in Life

2011-10-29T00:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pag1NdPKcYM&feature=channel_video_title

Charlie... Love Love Love his accent.

Maybe that's why I love love love Hotness :)

Hehe.

So. My ba-uuu-tiffull friend, HY, got me a TeeHee band. It's so friggin awesome, couldn't contain it any longer. Blahahahh. Happiness Explosion :)

Oh. And Halloween Tag Day was Yesterday. Woohoo.

I love Halloween. Why? Well, I love to dress up.

I have a confession. Well not really. Just a ramble.

When I was fat, like 95 kg fat, I never had the chance to wear nice clothes. I missed my chance on wearing dresses or shorts or skirts or anything that accentuates my fat parts.

Then, I got down to 75 kg and I'm having a blast finding clothes. Hopefully by the end of this year, I'll get down to a 65 kg to satisfy both myself and my gynecologist.

Why my gynie? Well, I have a syndrome called PCOS, which is a problem with my ovaries. I had to take an operation last year because my Fallopian tubes were all messed up. So, losing weight will cure me of many other problems from PCOS like:

a) Baldness (yes, I was actually losing hair)

b) Moodiness (Drives my mother crazy)

c) Ovarian Cancer if I have kids (That's what scared me the most)

Maybe, next week, I'll start working out at the gym again. :)

Oh. And FYI: I was a Zombie.

So much fun putting on the makeup for it. Hehe.

It was cool when I arrived to school and some people had to double-take to see me or were shocked. :P

I found it funny when the guard in school had a mini heart-attack (like, surprised, can't find a good word in English for that reaction)

I'm munching on some Tau Sar Piah.

It's so good. But it's hard to find a Halal one since most of these beauties are made with lard.

Taboo. It's so hard to live life with taboos sometimes.

For example, I really really really want to own a doggie. But as a Muslim, you can't since dogs are considered taboo. However, I don't mind that Drinking Alcohol is a taboo because alcohol rots your brains (if you drink at a young age). So, it's cool.

Somehow, I feel like dancing. No body can tell when I get my funk on. Owww~ :D

This post has to be the most randomness post ever. But it makes up for lost times. :)

Slowly, my super crush on KL is winding down. Yay! Victory dance. So, it's not so obsessive anymore. When I see him on FB Chat, I won't be like OMG OMG OMG

Right now, I'm enjoying just being oblivious.

Also, I've been talking more and more with my new buddy, Q. Seriously, that guy flirts with girls like crazy. Haha. :) (According to Eva)

You see, Q is like the best guy friend ever and a poke-able friend. Also, he harbors my greatest secret. And I know his. Mwahahaha. So, technically, we have an ultimatum.

I guess he is, to me, Ak's replacement, in a way. It's a shame I got to know him this year. Oh well.

Also Harz-Tarzan :). He's so funny and will never shy away from a Hi-5.

After the ACT, I chatted with Al-Z. Now I understand why Y-Peng like him (But I don't).

I still remember when I was younger, I always hated talking to guys.

Whenever I had my P(ahem)riod, I would stay away from guys at all cost. Oh, what silly things I've been thinking of. :)

Also, I've become more tolerant to Sheq. She's so funny and, at times, worrying. I find her to be a mystery. Poor girl, getting the Good Cop-Bad Cop treatment from Gr. and Mis.

Even Q asked me if I was one of the girls who pressured Sheq, which implies that Gr. and Mis. were very forceful. Poor girl. :(

However, I feel really bad that I've stopped talking to one of my friends, as in, STOP. I don' t know why. I might sound a bit bitchy here and I guess I am. I don't know, I just never tried to talk to her.

Could be the fact that she's not such an interesting person to talk to. I know, I know. I'm a meanie, but I barely do talk to her.

Heck, I talk more with J-W than her. I can never seem to comprehend why I distance myself from her.

Oh well. It's one of those unexplained phenomenons.

This year, I've been good at balancing my Lunch Table group with my Malaysian gang group. I guess this is the final year and I don't want any regrets.

Oh well. Peace and Love.

P.S: Got another post coming on. :)

Ramble Ramble Gargle

2011-10-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

I found this on 9gag:

I'm not trying to be all emo-ish, but I guess in a way, it's true.

There's this guy in school who is a homosexual.

Every time, he'll always have a smile on his face and I guess it's him trying to conceal his pain.

One of my friend told me that he doesn't want to cry or feel down, but deep down, changing your sexuality is hard for him at home. So I guess, what I'm trying to say is, sometimes, you just gotta listen to those who smile the most, then maybe, you'll understand why that person smiles.

On a happy note:

I haven't been updating for so long. Gah! But I guess I have to tell you. I think I'm slowly winding down on my crush with KL. Yusss!

I mean, when I see him, my heart doesn't go boom-boom-boom-boom-bbboom-boom, baby anymore.

Yesterday, I was eating lunch with Pep. Then then then... he came. And and and. he sat beside meeeeee! :)

But no, I'm not worked up. But yah. It's cool.

Today is Diwali or Deepavali, which means. NO SCHOOL!

So, I went shopping for HALLOWEEN costume stuff.

I'm just going to be a Hipster Zombie for Halloween, because I couldn't think of anything else to be.

Oh well. Just waiting for that Tag Day :)

Mascot Pics :)

2011-10-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but I'm feeling sort of spirited. Might be the panther outfit.

I told you before, I became the panther mascot for school. Check one off from the High School Bucket List. :)

It was friggin hot in there. Ugh. :P

Never again? Who knows. But next time, I'm keeping my lips sealed. :)

Is it really over?

2011-10-20T04:20:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking. This blog became too much of a I Love You but I Don't KL blog. So I guess I should stop?... No. I SHOULD STOP.

I think that it's really going nowhere and at no point will he come up to me and say, "will you go to prom with me?" (Which is next year, but really, what's there to wait around for, I have to forget about it)

Oh well. C'est la vie. I really don't know why but today, when I looked at him, my heart didn't do any flips. Maybe I'm just tired of caring. But I guess today, I just saw him as a kid. :P
Maybe it's time to move on.

I told HY and somehow, she seems skeptical. Maybe because I sang the same song over and over again. But I should be serious.

Maybe going to an all girl's college would be better. No DISTRACTIONS.

Speaking of colleges, the SAT scores came out and mine were far from great. I guess I never had it in me to do the SAT. Maybe it's just that I don't bother. I don't know.
In a way, I'm slightly disappointed at myself but I'm trying to look on the bright side. At least there's ACT.
So hopefully, it'll be good.

Today I made Coca-Cola Chicken. So nyummy. Apparently, our batch (HY and mine's) were the best one. Hehehe :)

Never tell you relatives what you have. I'm keeping my score a secret from everyone from now on. (Family-wise)
They don't understand and they judge, asking if it's a C or something. I don't know. Gah. Morale sinking even further down the pits of despair.
Hopefully I can get into Uni.

I guess the question I pose, "Is it really over?" could refer to my crush with KL and the damn college process. If I don't make it to college, I'll just spend my years being a 100-year old virgin, jobless, and doomed.

I know, dramatic much, right? Oh well.

Peace :)

Blogging is an Addiction :O

2011-10-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

Harro :)

To begin with, weekend was great except for the craptastic haircut I got. Okay, I dunno. It just looks weird and my family members are like WHY did you cut your hair. *SIGH*

So today is a Monday. Weeeehhheeee. Actually, not really. It was a stressful Monday.

I was the Panther mascot for my school today. Why did I even become a mascot?

HIGH SCHOOL BUCKET LIST :D

I have a list of things I want to do before I graduate and being a mascot is one of them. I'm so stoked to do it, but then I felt like an idiot, but no one knew it was me :) So yeahhh!

Okay, so that was the highlight of the day, I guess.

In a way, my view on my haircut/fringe-cut is differs.

The moment I actually loved my haircut was when KL said that it looks nice, so don't worry. Melt man, I didn't know what to say later.

Pep. also said it was cool. I don't know why but feelings about Pep. are starting again, but no, I'm loyal to my crush with glasses. Gah! But because of Pep. new haircut, he looks even more dashing. Sigh, my ever-flitting heart.

Some low-points of today was English and Bio. Bio and English, two quiz bombardments that were just too much, but I guess that's High School. Also, college search. I still am NOT sure where to go. Now I wonder if I should take a GAP year. Sigh.

The best thing about today was also IMPROV CLUB. Hotness joined! Gah! This is just absolutely perfect-o. Finally, sooner or later, he'll learn my name. Hehehe.

Okay, so today, we had to do a kidnapping scene and I was a kidnapper and Hotness the kidnappee(?). When he untied himself, my other kidnapper friend said, "Why did you let him go?" Since it was improv, I had to say something so I said, "Cuz he's cute." NOOOOOOOoooo!

Credibility gone down the drain. Bahaha. :(

But it was fun. He's such a funny actor and person and omg. Rant rant rant.

I told my OLD MAN friend about the greatness of Improv club and he said that I have too many guys I'm interested in. Luckily, OLD MAN doesn't know about my one crush, who is the dude he drives back with almost everyday. What, I don't stalk. I merely observe.

So yah.

I finally know how to style this atrocious hair. Ribbons. :)

I'm going to be 6 all over again.

Priceless in English today. We had to perform our skit for Hamlet and it was funny seeing KL pull of an Italian accent. Bahaha. I tried to contain my laughter as I did little Hamlet spiel.

So I guess the day is gone now.

Peace and Love.

blabbermouth :)

Love this pic. It's from GOONG by Park So Hee. So good. So Shin, the dude, just got advice from his dad to be a man and be with his love.

I love this scene because I just want to tell KL to do that. But then again, nah. Gah! Too much Too much.

Byaaah

Friday was the cherry on top of the cake

2011-10-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Credits to: http://happythings.tumblr.com/

Today was a good day and I think I'll stick with my smile everyday even if it's hard way of life.

Well, another KL moment and so far, I dunno. I can finally talk to him super casually. :D

Yay!

Good things about today:

- History :)

- Laughing in the morning about 'Mr. Long' XD

- KL (of course) (but sadly, I couldn't stay longer at school to watch M.U.N so I couldn't see him in a suit, lol lol lol)

I guess I should stop doing this stupid obsession.

I mean, I guess we'll always be friends. Plus, if he does get a girl, I don't want to end up like this:

So that is why I must STOP. :P

Gah! :(

http://happythings.tumblr.com/

2011-10-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

Please Visit http://happythings.tumblr.com/

Best site for a cheering up medicine.

Too Much of KL today

2011-10-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm still following my golden rule to smile everyday without fail and so far, it's going great.

I guess in a way, I've made 'progress' in my attempts to be and not to be with him. (Haha. Hamlet, I'm learning Hamlet in English now so take that Mr. E, I Applied English to real life :D)

So in the morning, I had to study for:

a) English quiz

b) French dissertation

c) Econ quiz

So, I opted for the English quiz since it was first. He is also in my English class so we studied together.

One of the poems had the beginning line, "my heart aches" so I kept repeating that, hoping the HINT was there. Oh well. That was a total fail.

Then, a miracle happened again. Seriously. Just smile people. :D

He said, "Want to go somewhere to study quietly?" I nodded casually, but inside, I was like Hell yeaahhh! I mean, my other two English classmates were there too, but why didn't he ask them too. Gah! :D

This is amazing. :D

Secretly, I wished it was in a different context though, but I'll get what I get.

Then then then. In English, we're suppose to have to recreate Hamlet in class in different scenes. So I was paired up with P. and my friend, M., was paired with KL. Then, OMG. P. wanted KL to be in our group so that we are a group of four (P., KL, M. and I).

I was like, yes! But then, no. Argh!

So yah. It was cool.

After-school too. Too many instances where he keeps popping up. *Sigh* Eva was right, the plague is always there. :D

Can't wait for Monday. :D

It's a secret.

Thank you HY and my friends!

2011-10-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

OMG! Yesterday was the best day ever. I can't believe that it happened. It was simply amazing.

To recap, I had the crappiest birthday. Well, not totally, but I felt like crap.
I spend time on my birthday with my dad's side of the family. I don't dislike them, but I'm not keen on them either. It's like, I'm neutral.
I thought it was going to be special since I've never talked to them since like forever, but it wasn't.
The reason being my craptasticular cousin who is the attention seeker of the family. I wish someone would just cane him. I mean, I was caned as a child and my brother too. We learned discipline and I think that naughty children should get the end of the bamboo stick.

My birthday felt like an ordinary day when it was suppose to be special. I wanted to crawl in a hole and be a hermit after that disastrous birthday.

Then Monday just overwhelmed me.
I was not happy at all on Monday. Basically, I gave everyone a fake smile because I didn't want to trouble anyone.
I'm so good as masking my feelings that at some point, it's going to burst.
And it did.

My dad called me and he kinda scolded me for not being on task and all about deadlines and stuff.
I cannot handle it and I started crying on the phone. I think it's just gotten to me.
The stress. The loneliness.
I felt trapped in this house but yet I shouldn't. I dunno. I guess, in the end, it's me and my PMS. :(

But but but... there's a happy ending to the story.
I looked on Facebook on Monday night and saw Jen's post about some tumblr. blog. One of the pictures said that smiling helps increase happiness because of endorphins or something.
So I decided to smile the next day, just try your best to just smile.

Then SOMETHING Good Happen on Tuesday!

I had a birthday surprise at school!
Plus, the like plus plus plus thing was the notes in my locker.

Yes, I love everyone's notes.
Benny lava was my favorite.

But my ultimate fav. was KL's note to me.
Seriously, HY is the best sister I will ever have. Best friend too.
Can't wait to let her see the Senior pages. :D

On his note, he said my smiles make his day. I was like Eekkk when I read it at home.
In school, I just glanced and saw his name and my heart leaped.

In a way, I'm cheating. I'm suppose to forget about it, but I can't.
Why? Why? Why?

He's just too awesome. Nah.

Oh well.

Time to do some dirty business now. Homework.

Bye.

How I Celebrated My Birthday

2011-10-09T01:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it was an uneventful birthday.
I spent my day with my dad's side of the family.

I rarely see them since we aren't that close. Nothing personal, it's just... you know.

It was great because I got to see my baby girl cousin (the second girl in the family). So I was happy to see her smile on my birthday.

Then, the horror came when my male cousin, who is a total (urgh) came. Seriously, can parents please control their kids. His brothers are cool, just him.

So, it was an okay birthday. But you know, some days, it's a good thing, some not. Tough.

When I got home, my friend sent me a link:
http://collegeapps.about.com/od/theartofgettingaccepted/ss/bad-facebook-photos.htm

It's about colleges and how they can check your profile pics and stuff. So I spent the hour or so deleting pics or removing tags. But it's not a lot. SO, phew.

Then, a miracle happened. KL chatted. I was like. OMG. Birthday moment right there. :P
Yay!

So off I go to finish my History IA and EE, with happy thoughts.

:D

Why 9gag!

2011-10-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

9gag. You know me so well. I've been on it since 11pm and I see so many posts relating to my situation. Haha ;)

Thank You HY! :D

2011-10-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

I was reading a birthday post from HY and somehow it made me cry, in a good way.

I don't know.

I've been having some emotional baggage, to the point where I think I need to go see the school's psychiatrist next week to get stuff off my chest. But no worries about that, I just need an adult other than my family to tell me what I should do.

I guess I've been putting myself down for awhile.

You see, I'm trying to maintain my GPA, but I keep getting stressed out by the low grades that I keep receiving from classes.

I tell myself to not be caught up because I can change it, but I just can't do it. I just can't.

My mind has to be constantly thinking or worrying about things in order to not get suck into thinking about the haunting future.

On a happy note:

I love Huei Huei's birthday present. It's the best and it cheered me up.

It even comes in first and KL's birthday post is second. :)

So you see, you mean so much more to me than a stupid plague douche whom I can't forget.

Love you HY, and thank you.

Happy Birthday to Me :)

2011-10-08T08:59:00.001-07:00

Always wanted this type of cake. Did have it once when I was 6. :)

My horrible Dream

2011-10-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

I say horrible to reassure myself that dreaming about the "wonderful" KL is actually a sin.

That's the code E and I go by to relieve ourselves from our plagues.

Okay. So it started like a normal school day.

For some reason, it's either English or art class. Not sure.

But Hotness was there too. So I kept staring at him and talked on and on about him to HY (as usual, you know).

For some odd reason, talking about Hotness pissed of KL. Then, the power went off. But there was still light from the windows and stuff.

KL came towards me, and said to stop talking about Hotness. Then, omg. *blush* kissed me.

(hitting myself. hitting myself. why did I dream about this?)

It felt sorta real that I really thought that it wasn't a dream.

Then, class ended. We held hands. Gah!

HY was behind us and he raised our hands to tell her.

Then, it became a bit blurry and stuff but I remember that he was always there.

Towards the end, the dream me was like, "this is a dream right."

Then dream KL was like, "no because I'll always be here by your side."

Then, my stupid alarm clock woke me up. I tried to sleep again, but I dreamed that I being chased by a monster worm and KL left.

Damn.

But I guess that's good.
So confuse.

Week in Recap

2011-10-08T02:45:00.000-07:00

So I write a lot. Whop ti doo! It's because I have to procrastinate. It's sad. I'm suppose to write:

a) History IA

b) EE

c) Articles for Take

but I seem to not have the mood for it.

Partly because of EE. Now, my blog awaits me.

So the week started out like Hell.

I couldn't come to school early because my taxi came late. So I was stressed about printing out my papers that was due.

I felt like crying, and I think I almost did, but I pulled myself together. The night before, I actually did cry like a baby. I was bawling to my mother that I couldn't stand staying here away from her and the family.

She told me that I can quit anytime and come here. I felt that I should. It's tough staying away from my family and not knowing what to do. I just want to quit IB and take the next plane to Jakarta.

So basically, I had a stressful start to the week.

The first two days (Monday and Tuesday) was pretty hellish. I didn't have the energy to continue with school anymore. I barely have time with my friends because I'm always running around to catch some club somewhere. Or a university visit.

I think I do too much and I tackle on a lot that's beyond me. But I can't stop. My life is in a constant perpetual motion.

But I guess that's me.

On Wednesday, we had our Senior Seminar. I think we're duped by our school. We were suppose to have a special lunch, but it was less than special. Seriously, Indian food from the school cafeteria. I miss our old school cafeteria lady. She had the best food.

It was the crappiest lunch ever.

Then, we had to take a picture in the rain in KLCC park. I don't mind it that much. That bit was fun. Why? Well my friend E. and I were freaking out about our own personal crush problems. Hers, she says it's not a crush, but hmm.

When we got back to school, we were even more hyper than usual. I freaked out this guy Q because I had to find an outlet to get rid of my frustration for KL. E. helped me too. She too had to get rid of her frustration for her pest.

Poor Q. I think I scared that guy. He's a nice dude, but it's so fun to torture him.

Hey, he took my pen, I think I have a right to do so :) XP

Both E and I vow to NOT think about our personal problems, but we fail. No way can we ever forget about them. They are amazing and cute and gahahdisfhlasf.

Thursday was better because I got to see him in the morning again.

Okay, on Tuesday, we sat together at the Junior Deck because the library was occupied by MS stuff. It was nice. But I guess

Then, on Thursday. He patted my head. Kept me happy for the morning.

I believe that on Friday was the day that I talked to him the most during the week.

It was the usual every morning.

Then, I managed to see him after-school, which was a rare thing.

I guess seeing him a lot on Friday made me have a "super(?) wonderful (nooo!)" dream about him. But that's for another post.

Gah! So amazing. Wish that dream never ended.

So yah. Week in recap.

After So Long... I FINALLY made physical contact!

2011-10-03T06:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, so in 2010-2011, my 11th grade year, I had a crush on this dude call C.C.

This guy was ah-may-zingggg!

He sings, dances (kinda), acts, and is smart to top.

He was a nice guy until he met this bitchy, pompous girl called A.Shah.

They were cast as the lead role for a musical and they would practice their kissing scene even after practice. Technically, they cheated on their respective girlfriend and boyfriend.

How rude.

Ohkay, so I got over him after second semester when I met KL and we began to be closer. But gah.

Today, I made time in my busy schedule to do Improv Club. It's so much fun.

So we had this really weird scene about a love triangle.

Then, he acted like he loved me, but I loved another dude, and it was a really fun scene. But I had to act like a lover who can't choose her mind. So, omg. I clung on to him.

His shoulders. Mmm. LOL.

Well, the old me would freak out, but no, my man is KL.

But yeah, Highlight of the Day!

I'm Going Crazy... in love :P

2011-10-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

Why oh why is it so hard to forget about KL!

Seriously, it's been an up and down journey for me to get a grip of myself.
I've been bothered by this problem ever since last semester (2nd semester of 11th grade).

Why oh why!

SO I made a "promise" to myself to NOT have any distractions, especially those of the heart. I told that to myself and repeated it over and over again.

Yet, when he flashes his smile at me, it feels like a huge force overcomes me. Literally, my heart skips a beat.

But I don't know why I should even give him the time of day.

I mean, we're just friends. Period.

He hangs with all these girls and I try to erase that fact, but it's inevitable.

But I always cherish the time between 7:10 am - 7:30 am because it is the only time that I could talk with him, like one on one. I always look forward to come to school because of this. :)

That is, until my friends start to pour into the table. Not that I don't love them, but they drive him away. LOL.

It's quiet funny. He's trying to study for either History, Math or whatever he may have on that day (Chinese or TOK, not sure... *ahem* not stalkerish at all). So, he wouldn't listen to his music, or have one earphone in his ear when it's just him and I. But once my Avareeees come in, then, he plugs himself away from the world. I look up and look back down again. So cute. Gwaahhh!

Today, I thought that I wouldn't be able to talk to him at all since I arrived late-ish to school (later than the normal time I arrive), so we didn't have our daily morning chats. Yet, I managed to catch him after-school.

It was a total surprise, really.

I was chatting with my friends and laughing about Grandmother's afro hair while L and her BF (which I will now nickname as Elvis (cuz of his bouffant style hair) or the Laugh cuz he's laugh is amazing). Okay, going back to the story.

So, there I was explaining about something to them. Then, he came up from behind and scared me. Obviously, I jumped. Then, he started to laugh and he said something and walked away. L gave me like the "oooh, I know you like it look."

I thought he left already, but I was in luck.

I gave him the same scare tactic he used on me, but it failed because he's an emotionless douche. :P Love him! We chatted for like 5 seconds, then he asked where my ride is. I pretended not to know where it is for awhile, but then the taxi driver waved his hands. *facepalm*

I reluctantly said yes, then he said, "go" in a caring way, like a concerning way because he knows the traffic coming to the area. Gah. I dunno. Why am I crazy in love with him?

No one understands his kind side, it's quiet funny. I mean, he may look like an egotistical, pretentious, preppy guy, and act like it. But he has a sensitive side.

I mean, I just found out he listens to John Mayer. How sensitive can you get.

I could go on forever, but I won't.

Too much work.

Peace.

What happened to cartoons?

2011-10-02T02:39:00.000-07:00

What 90s kid could ever forget the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister. Seriously, Steven Spielberg should be creating more cartoons than movies.

I mean, Freakazoid, Pinky and the Brain... just pure cartoon zaniness.

What happened to cartoons?

I'm still a kid at heart and I would rather turn to Nickelodeon than Star Wars. I would rather watch Fairly Odd Parents than Glee. Why? Because people look prettier in cartoons. I mean, in Enchanted, I'm sure you love Princess Giselle in cartoon form than the live-version played by Amy Adams.

I'm not superficial, just prefer aesthetic beauty. Haha.

There's also more put into cartoons than live-action dramas.

I'm now currently into Total Drama Island. I've watched Total Drama World Tour.

Seriously, that's the best show that came out of Canada since like, ever. Haha, jokes. Canadians, you're alright :)

Now, as I flipped through the cartoon channels, all I get is crap cartoons. There are still a few good ones that came after 2003-2005, such as Phineas and Ferb. But the rest are taken over by crappy 3D cartoons or live-action.

What happened to Filmore? What happen to Kim Possible? All these cartoon have every bit of what Disney live-actions show to kids, but better.

I don't think people are as creative as they were before. It's quiet sad. The beauty of cartoons are so amazing, I can't even put it in words.

If you would like, I don't mind having riveting conversations with other cartoon adicts. Just drop me a comment, and we can discuss the values of cartoons to the young.

I think swearing came about when cartoon quality died. What else do these kids watch. Oh, I don't know, Jackass.

I just really want old cartoons to be brought back.

So please, if anyone out there is advocating 90s cartoons to be broadcast again, sign me up.

In the meantime, thank the Lord for youtube. :)

Call Me A Romantic

2011-10-02T02:29:00.000-07:00

Just call me a romantic.

I'm feeling the highs and lows of crushes.

You see, this idiot, KL, is stuck in my mind.

I don't know why or how I could have possibly been attracted to him.

I mean, if you see this guy, you'll be like, really. But something about his smile.

*sigh*

Oh well, fantasizing about him is waaay better than finishing up my science lab, dontcha think so?

hehe

Just Some Pictures

2011-10-02T02:21:00.000-07:00

Jang Geun Suk in He's Beautiful

If you know anything about the Harry Potter world, you would know the fan shippings of Rose Weasely and Scorpius Malfoy. The stories are simply amazing, but some can be a bit explicit. *ahem*

So I drew this, with Rose being the Unspeakable, and Scorpius is the Kites Player.

It is directed from the story Now or Never by queenb23. Her characters are amazing that you wish there was a movie about the Second Generation Harry Potter peeps.

The drawing above and below are inspired by Park So Hee's manwha, Goong, which is an excellent read. I recommend anyone who loves period fiction set in modern times to read it. It's so awesome possum! :)

Holy Cow. I'm Coming Back Alive

2011-10-02T02:04:00.000-07:00

Oh my word! I'm re-blogging again.
I guess I need to ventilate healthily since keeping my emotions locked up has been quiet a disaster for me.
Plus, come PMS, who knows what kind of wreck I've been through.

Updates~

So, I was actually having some issues with my friend A from Dhaka. But now, everything patched up. It took two years of awkwardness (or maybe more) to finally move on.

Now, I'm happy with the relationship I have with her. I guess all it took was for me to realize my mistake and I guess, in a sense, hers too.

So far, life's been pretty good.

I finally feel free after I lost a lot of weight. It's as though I don't see myself as an invisible nobody anymore.

It's quiet sad sometimes, because as a fat person, all you do is think, "boy, they're probably looking down at me." But heck, I don't give a damn anymore. Let them say what they want because I got to the point where I'm comfortable with who I am.

Sadly, it took 10 years to realize that.

So, in terms of crushes, I have a guy called KL. He's omg. The. Bomb.

Well, not really. He's a sarcastic douche-bag but I dunno, maybe it's the glasses. I've always been a glasses type of girl ever since this:

Absolute Boyfriend: Soshi Asamoto

Speaking of idols, I was obsessed with Jang Geun Suk for the entire summer. Now, it's a passing, but seriously. Gaaahhhh~

Isn't he such an OMG *nosebleed*

haha

Oh well, so I guess that's it.

Will keep anyone who's reading this posted

Peace

Dusting Off the Old Blog

2010-10-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

Hello Blog,

It's been a long time since I've written in yours.
Recently, I've found out that my mom's blog opened up for public domain. Yay!
So, as I was doing my Concert Reflections for Choir, I've been snooping around her blog.

Therefore, it lead me to write that damn Concert Reflection for 4 hours. Haha!
Serves me right.

Oh well, that's a blurbitt for this week.
Bye blog, I'll see you again in a year. :D

Finally back

2010-07-22T03:59:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm blogging again because I realize that I need a personal diary to vent out everything that's possibly wrong with life.

So these are things that happened to me so far:
A) I am in Islamabad, Pakistan :0
I know, I'm always somewhere but usually in the south Asian region...
B) I have been traveling
Yup, traveled to Paris and London
Now writing on my new iPod touch so I can't really say much now.

Will be writing more often... XOXO

FIFA Fever

2010-06-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

I've never really cared for soccer. It's always been a mystery to me. Sports.

How can people be so into a sport. Be it Basketball, Football or Rugby... I've never really give a damn about it.

But somehow, FIFA has just interested me. It's weird, cheering for teams that aren't your country. It's even weirder seeing your mom dance in the living room shouting out "GOAL!" But I guess FIFA is different from the English Premier League or LIGA. It's the way it unites an entire country rather than different teams.

Right now, I'm watching the Brazilians going against the Cote D'Ivore. Hope the Africans win. :)

Dhaka Trippin'

2010-04-10T07:31:00.001-07:00

People~

2010-03-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

Listening to music,

Alone,

Waiting for inspiration,

To finish my Vercingetorix French Presentation.

You know what bugs me now?

People.

Yes, people. It's so hard to figure them out and I know I'm a whiny brat when I say that.

Next year, I'm taking Psychology so I would probably understand the complex mind of people.

Sometimes, I wish that I could stop time and turn in back. But I guess it's just me.

My Friend, T.W, can be a bug sometimes. He would copy of my reports, beg for my help, and make me feel like crap.

But I guess that's his nature.

Sigh. I wished he changed.

Love or Just a Fad? Pity or Regret?

2010-03-04T05:47:00.000-08:00

Poor L~

Sometimes, that girl doesn't know when it's time to just confess to your true feelings.

Look,

She loves N, but she's finding distractions such as MJ (Korean dude)

Today, my very OPEN friend... G talked about L's ex-crush

Let me give you some background on G

G is a girl that can speak her mind.

Sometimes, it's a bad thing and sometimes, it's a good thing.

She dislikes almost all males and think they are doofies... for example, N and Ak

She's my hero and yet, she's my anti-hero. =D

Ohkay... So here is what happen, when G talked, L went teary-eyed.

My darling friend, HY, now just told me that L's crush, N, doesn't like her... EVER!

Plus, HY and I and a couple of friends know that MJ likes some other girl, so L will never be able to be next to him.

So, it's a turmoil with L and I feel really bad now.

It's not empathy, nor is it sympathy. Evilly enough, I think it's pity.

Sigh~

I'm not a nice person as I think, but I want to help her. But deep down, I know that I'm only feeling pity and regret, not the true feelings that I feel to help her.

Bloggies~ I need help

Reconciling With Fate

2010-03-04T05:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally managed to not over worry myself with L.

I decided that I could finally let it out with HY since she understands me and my problem.

While I was trying to decide that L is an enemy in disguise, I started thinking about the good that she can come with. I mean, without her, I wouldn't have gotten... umm... ahh... let me see...

Well, I'll think about it later.

However, we are all rooting for her to just go for N rather than her "boyfriend," MJ. No, not Michael Jackson, but some Korean dude.

Seriously, what's up with my friends falling for Koreans? I don't find them hot, well, not all of them.

Seung Ri from Big Bang

Sometimes, I prefer the Japanese dude, like Jun Matsumoto. Sigh~ He is just adorable~

But my friend Jen said that Korean boys look pretty, not hot. Well, I guess men in Eastern Asia are more inclined towards beauty than buff. Do I sense a hint of a metrosexual trend here.

In Malaysia, there are a lot of this "pretty" boys. They dress up all EMO just to find an excuse to put on mascara or wear tight tees and skinny jeans.

Tsk.

Malaysian Boys, will they ever appeal to me anymore?

OMG... snob moment... HAHA~

Fate has given me another problem...

That is SWIMMING!

I hateth swimming in P.E because I'm a self-conscience idiot who can't take her body seriously.
Plus, I have all the beautiful, athletic girls.

No~

I must not say this.

Remember my mantra:

"Mommy, Mommy"

Yes, I am aiming to be a healthy, hot mama one day with a cute little bambino, or bambinoes.

My dreams are simple~

Well, good night blogging community.

Till then,

Ciao

Frustration

2010-02-26T01:40:00.000-08:00

Yes, you heard it

W.L is a bit frustrated with life right now

It all started on Wednesday

Miss I-Am-the-Center-of-the-Universe rants on about having a boyfriend and I thought that it was true, so I told Miss Naive about my feelings about her and her having a boyfriend.

Actually, it wasn't true! She e-mailed me telling me what Miss Naive told her. She asked me if I told others, and I lied and said, "No."

Now, there's this awkward silence between us and I don't think I can talk to her properly now.

I wish I could just erase everything, but I don't think that her not talking to me is a bad thing.

Another reason why I am P.O:

There's this new person in the bus and they took my seat, so I feel like more of an outsider on my bus cuz I have no friends on the bus and I always sit alone, which is better. Now, I have to share seats with strangers. Damn it!

Another reason:

I bought tickets to watch Valentine's Day and I am watching it for the second time with my New School friends.

But I bought the ticket for the wrong time! Shit~ Why am I so stupid.

Euff... I want to turn back time!

A Problem with L

2010-02-19T04:09:00.000-08:00

Finally, Whispering Loudmouth braves her blog once again.

Sorry for not writing in a long time, I've been busy.

Yeah, yeah! Excuses... Excuses

Well, I'm ready to pour out all my problems on you, my little bloggie-woggie.

First off, my problem with a certain L.

I don't know why, but I think that it's time to stop her. I can't stand her act anymore, her pitiful charade. Sometimes, I think she tries to act cute, but it gets a bit too annoying. I wish someone would tell her that being cute doesn't mean acting like a LaLa girl.

If you would remember my The Moment blog post, well N has the hots for HY again and I think L is trying to push N to go for her. But HY doesn't like N and mostly, all my friends think that L is doing this because she likes N. I find it pretty, downright LOW if she's going to this extent to get to N.

Well, I will post more, but my batteries are running out.

Till then...

Gong Xi Fa Choi!

Bored and Lazy: What a Combo?

2010-01-29T23:36:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching Sydney White. I know, sad, but it was the only good thing on.

Now, I'm playing Where in the World is Cobra Starship?

It's a pretty mundane game, but since they have AMERICAN radio playing, I'm enjoying.

Why don't you say so, I think I'm caught in between... Why don't you say so ~ Poppin' Champagne... (Luv da song)

I guess I should go do my homework now, but MLIA is calling me.

ARGH!

Wanted: Wilson # 10

2010-01-29T01:45:00.000-08:00

I was so happy on Thursday. I saw the IASAS Basketball and I think I'm not really a team player.

When #10 from SAS was playing, it was just magnificent. His hair was just so good. LOL, even in the midst of barbaric actions. Basketball, boys version, is very dangerous.

Me Attempting to Sing =D

2010-01-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

I'm singing the chorus for Rascal Flatts' song, "Bless the Broken Road"

I know it's crappy but what the heck

Insomniac

2010-01-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

Just looked at the time, 1.56am. I have made three really long post and I am very proud.

But I think I'm finally going to catch some Zzz's

Any minute now... Any minute now...

Damn it... I can't

Lullaby and goodnight...

Oh, I know, I think I'll try singing. I might post up a video of myself doing random stuff such as singing but I don't know.

YouTube

LOL

Writing Crap here

Need to Stop

Okay

One...

Two....

Threee...

There...

ARGH!

One Malaysia? A Dream Unacheived

2010-01-16T09:35:00.000-08:00

One Malaysia, the motto of last year's Merdeka Celebration, the motto for the youth, and the motto for Malaysians who have forgotten their roots. That is what One Malaysia is. But somehow, this week, with the Church Bombings, Religious Misunderstandings, and more Crime, the dream of One Malaysia is no more than a dream.

As a Malaysia, I really hope that my country could do better. Tonight, as I was going to the Elevated Highway, I saw a marvelous sight. The Petronas Twin Towers and the Kuala Lumpur Tower lighted like a glorious buildings they are and surrounded by countless of other buildings. It was breath-taking to see my Malaysia become so modern. But somehow, the goal to be a Fully developed country is undertaking.

One of the main problem is racism. Not up-scale racism, but just being prejudice. My father told me that everyone in Malaysia is not Purely Chinese, Purely Malay, or Purely Indian. Even those precious sultans. I'm sure that their ancestors might have intermarried of some sort. I even learned that Japanese are a mixture of Malayan and Chinese, back in the old days, so no one is pure anything. So, idiotic people might not be so happy to hear they are not Pure this or Pure that.

Just so you know, I'm a Malay but I have a Chinese background as well and I'm Damn Proud of It.

Another thing I'm proud of is my religion, but sometimes the Malaysian Muslims may have taken it too far. From not letting Beyonce perform to censoring the word "beer" in her song If I Was a Boy, PAS has really ticked me off. Additionally, the I'm Holier Than Thou people, the so-called preachers, the infuriating "Holy People" just plain tick me off. How can I just sit there, listening to them saying OTT things about my religion. Sometimes, I wish Malaysia would adopt the Muslim sect that Turkey or other Eastern European countries practice rather than the EXTREME Malaysian Islam. Oh well, I guess each to his own.

Back in my primary school, I generally hang with my best friends, who is in fact Chinese, but did the Malays of my school take it kindly. NOPE. Actually, I was put under pressure for not being a PURE Malay. In the end, I had to side with the Malays since I was under peer-pressure, but I really owe my thanks to Kimberly, who I'm still friends with since then. For the Malay gang, I have lost ALL contact with them, So much for sticking through, eh?

But really, I have no idea how ONE MALAYSIA will fly if these things aren't fixed. Somehow, the rush is on for PM Najib, but can he do it? If he paid more attention to the public rather than his VAIN wife, I guess that Malaysia could very well be the modern country that it is. Remember what ex-PM Mahathir wants, a modern Malaysia by 2020. We are in 2010, halfway there.

Though we have wasted tax-payer's money on out-riders and sending a guy to space, I think it's time for the government to start giving back. PM Najib, you have to surpass PM Mahathir (but I don't think anyone can). Bring in more tourism, set back the crime rate, make the roads safer, make children walk freely without being kidnapped, and many more shouts from the public.

But if you don't, then all this ONE MALAYSIA can never be achieved. We voted for you to come to office, we look at your ever-changing wife, we suffered through enough, we need to MAJU, we need to Modernize, we need Support.

I know ranting out my plea by Blog is pretty useless, but if you could hear me, please, please, I'm just a teenager trying to find something to be proud of in Malaysia.

Another thing, make the country more appealing to the youth. I know for certain that if the youth is excited, so will the modernization of Malaysia be achieved.

Thank you for your time...

Love,

Whispering Loudmouth

Questionmark-in-Disguise

A.S.B

Two Sad Poems

2010-01-16T09:34:00.000-08:00

No one cares anymore

Can't you feel the tension,

The utter cries of frustration,

The hatered calls from others,

The world ain't caring no more.

Can't you hear her tears falling,

The government corrupting,

The way everyone booing us all,

The world ain't nice anymore.

Caring is a word tossed around,

Love cannot be found,

Why am I so down?

The world ain't loving anymore.

Why Bother

Why bother when millions of people suffer from war,

When people can't taste freedom no more,

When the world is shattering due to fights,

When they are lost in the middle of the night.

Why bother when the majority wins,

Why carin' when no one could sleep,

Is the world turning out bad,

Or just sayin' it ain't so sad.

Esteban, My Darling

2010-01-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

My Esteban!

Esteban,

The way you look at me,

Your eyes are wide,

Your nose all wet.

Esteban,

Never leave me,

For your dependence on me,

Is like a warm fuzzy feeling.

Esteban,

If only you can talk,

If you could say I love you,

Then I shall fly to Heaven.

Esteban,

The way you rub on my legs,

Telling me what to do,

Oh, how you made me feel happy.

Esteban,

I love you so much,

Why can't you tell me that,

Why must you hurt my hand.

Esteban,

I do not care about your flaws,

Only the way you lick my fingers,

The way your "hair" tickles my neck.

Esteban,

My Cat,

I love you so much,

Never leave my side.

Mr. Hobo - A Fictional Story

2010-01-16T09:28:00.000-08:00

On the New York City subway floor, a man, unnamed and untamed, curled up alone on his thin piece of cardboard. Business executives distanced themselves from the hobo, acting as though they were in danger of contracting poverty. My mother told me, “Never go near that filthy hobo, his putrid stench will stick to you.” One day, I gathered the courage to speak to him. Surprisingly enough, Mr. Hobo’s life story was not as decadent as people would have thought. In fact, he was a rich businessman living a high society life style. Unfortunately, Mr. Hobo had lost all of his money when his stock market crashed. His hopes and dreams vanished away into the sewers of New York City. One rainy September day, I found Mr. Hobo lying dead on the cold subway floor. Tears trickled down my eyes as I ran towards Mr. Hobo’s motionless body. After that incident, I would always remember what Mr. Hobo said, “Kid, you’ve got to keep on studying and never wind up like me!” As time passes by, I worked hard to achieve my goal and became very successful. I owe it all to you, Mr. Hobo.

It's a fictional story~

Can't Sleep

2010-01-16T09:12:00.001-08:00

Well, I have been sick all day with the flu and sore throat and slight fever, but I thought that at night, I could get some snooze.

Guess what, I was WRONG!

I just took some Panadols and I think that taking 2 Acti-Fast Panadols actually stimulates you rather than depress you. Shit~ Oh well, I guess I'll have a sleepless Saturday night. Hopefully, my Sunday night will be restful.

Glee--- Jan 20, Wednesday at 9pm right after A.I

2010-01-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

I'm counting the days when I can watch my precious Glee on Star World. I'm so happy! Finally, I have something to watch on Star World besides Beauty and the Geek or America's Greatest Dog. (Ugh~)

But shows such as Ugly Betty and American Idol are making their ways into my heart. However, I still need the box DVD set of Glee and Ugly Betty Season 3 (Since Malaysia is always a Season Slow). I wish that we have the Internet to TV Satalite Dish, then I can go on NBC, Fox, or ABC or whatever channel my shows are on. But Star World will have to do for now.

Going back to... well, I guess there's nothing to go back to because I forgot where I was in the first place, so I'll just start ranting on about certain shows.

First off, the ever-popular, ever-funny, ever-shocking American Idol. The first show was pretty depressing for me since I missed it because of my habit to be an over-achiever and finish my homework the day it's assigned. (Somehow, my life will have a trend like that unless I chilax.) But I manage to catch it on Saturday morning so I saw it. Victoria Beckham is just like Paula. She can't say anything a bit useful, but she gives unrelated comments, yet she has the sweet factor so it's okay. I find it amusing how she became so internationally known but the actual talent (Mel B) is nowhere to be seen or heard. Oh well, after the Eddie Murphy as Baby Daddy rumor/scandal, who wouldn't want to be under the paparazzi's radar.

Going back to A.I, I think that the Pants on the Ground guy is just so funny. Everyone is singing that song now and Simon was right, It is a HIT! I hope General 62-year-old gets his props. Some belts, but gold-platted... XD

Now, let us dwell upon God Awful reality shows starting with the pointless Beauty and the Geek. You see, thanks to Beauty and the Geek, I can no longer see The Simpsons, which has been my favourite since I first had Astro. Also, they canceled Psych, which is another family favorite. But as long as Glee is always there, Star World will not fail me.

Ugly Betty, ah, how I like the American rendition of Yo So Betty La Fea, greatest Soap ever. Speaking of Soap Operas, I used to watch them when I come back from school. From soaps, I learnt about the sensual thrill of anger, jealousy, and lust. But the American Version has more comedy and who can hate Mark and Amanda... XD

Well, I guess we'll have to see how Glee will impress. Hopefully Modern Families or Community will come on to Star World as well. But there's always 8TV with Vampire Diaries. Ahh~ 2010, bring the TV industry some luck.

Damn Radio Stations

2010-01-16T08:25:00.000-08:00

Seriously, can the radio play anymore terrible songs?

From Meet Me Halfway to Bad Romance, the radio has been blasting out songs that are so bland, tasteless, and a contribution to noise pollution. People's perception of music has gone down. Now, the trend of music is DANCE MUSIC.

As far as I can tell, dance music is the worse kind of music. Sure, there are a couple of good dance music there, but when you hear it over and over again, you feel like you need to bust your gut. When I first heard Good Girls Gone Bad, I was so excited and got into the music. But good ol' Hitz.fm must play it over and over again until I realize, "Damn, Saporta's just repeating words." Then, the Gaga sensation swept over Asia. I think I've heard Pokerface, Love Game, and Just Dance so many times that I want to roll my eyes when my iPod shuffles on to those songs. I used to think that those three songs were pretty catchy and I secretly dance to them in my room. But again, Hitz.fm ruined my taste in Miss Gaga.

Then, Miss Gaga turned sweet with Eh, Eh, Nothing Else to Say, but like her other songs, it kept on repeating on the radio and Hitz.fm made a God awful remix (Gaga plus Bollywood). I nearly cried when I heard it.

Somehow, Miley Cyrus' Party in the U.S.A is a haven (a sanctuary even) to the terrible music dance music played on Hitz.fm.

Fine, I think I've said too much about Dance Music. I will be too much of a big Hypocrite if I go on any longer. Personally, I have inherited my Mom's Dancing Feet and I just love to dance. But with crappy, over-repeated songs on the radio, I need to put those feet to rest.

Then, there's the Two is Better Than One or You Belong To Me, which lost all meaning to me. Malaysia, please get your taste right! I know you finally realize the greatness of Boys LIke Girls and Taylor Swift, but my dear fellow Malaysians, you were just a bit (1 year) behind the trend. Why didn't those so-called faithful Taylor Swift Malaysia fans plead for her first album when I went scouring for it all across the record stores. Well, sucks to be the DJ now.

Going on to better music, I believe that songs such as Come One, Come All by All Time Low or American Royalty by Click Five or Drive Away by All-American Rejects are perfect substitutes for the music played on the radio. But if people are still into Cobra Starship, why not play Hot Mess instead of the over-repeated Good Girls Gone Bad.

For some dancing tunes, why not get influence by the all round awesome Glee. Their rendition of Don't Stop Believing really made me dance. Watcha Say is pretty good as well. Also, Morning After Dark by Timbaland ft. SoShy and Nelly Furtado is pretty good. But there are many songs, but I still can't think of any. You see, my music is influence by the radio, which is why I'm posting this rant anyway.

If the radio can't provide me with music, I'm stuck listening to Bad Romance or (gasp) Meet Me Halfway again and again and again and again....

Hopefully, 2010 will bring back some life into the once glorified radio stations of Malaysia.

Heart for Comics

2010-01-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

I've always loved comics in any form.I think I enjoyed comics since I sneak-a-peak at my dad's comics, handed down by his otaku brother. =D

Well, my first comic laughter was when I picked up that MAD Magazine. Sigh~ I didn't really get their jokes at first, but what does a Malaysian six-year-

old girl know?

Then, it was the big guns, Marvel and DC Comics.

How I love the female superheroes, but the males were pretty good to read to. But there was one about this playboy in which I took a look at. Wow~ It was just so full of the Casanova/Adventure Story.

Then, the last comic I remembered up to now is about a family of superheroes. It looked like a spin-off from Fantastic Four, but the heroine is a girl with a lava-rock monster for a dad. It was good, but I forgot the name.

It was good so far, being entertained by comics. Then, I met Garfield. Then, Baby and Me. All thanks to the wonderful world of Newspaper Comic Strips. It gives me laughs on a mundane day.

After my entire childhood devoted of comics, I turned to *drum roll

* MANGA!

It was glorious.

Actually, my manga experience was again due to my uncle. He brought me to Kinokunia and it became my second home. I tried to read Ranma 1/2, but the customer helper said I was too young (I was 8 years old, or 10 years old)

I didn't touch manga again until I was 11 or 12 years old.

Then, I found out about Gempak Stars Magazines and their Malay-translated Manga. I was swooped away by manga.

Then, I realize that Doreamon, which I had been reading for years is a Manga. Waddaya know?

Then, Nad borrowed me her Ouran High School Host Club and I was in for bigger names than Gempak Starz. Now, I target DelRay or Shojo Beat.

Rarely do I go for Tokyo Pop.

Now, my Fav is CY for giving me inexpensive manga to read in ENGLISH translation. Oh Singapore, you made yourself worthy to a Malaysia again, but seriously, it's not that hard.

Now, My life with Comics will soon go on as I just signed up for GOComics.Com

Will I ever stop?

I don't think so... xD

So True~

Calvin and Hobbes

ILY

Heart of the City

2010-01-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

This is Love at it's best... So Cute~

Heart of the City by Mark Tatulli

Best Comic Strip EVA!

Updating My Stories on FanFict

2010-01-03T10:24:00.000-08:00

My life is so interesting... NOT!

Here I am, at 3 am, writing stories and reading manga. Highlight of my life right here, people. Behold Whispering Loudmouth, the introvert.

I'm so happy. I didn't gain any weight during the winter break, so it's a hurray! But sadly, will I ever reach 85 kg, I don't know. But I guess there's no harm in trying.

You know, I feel that it's pretty pointless to write in a blog that no one reads.

Well, I hope this video of me being a bored ass uploads:

Oh well, the video doesn't upload... POO~

Well, next time, I'll figure out how this could be a video blog...

Any ideas my non-resistant readers?

Nothing to do at 4 am

2009-12-27T11:53:00.000-08:00

Yeah, the reason I'm writing a lot is because I am training myself for New Year's Eve. Yeah, it's going to be 4 days before I say goodbye to 2009.

I'm going to miss 2009. It's been a life-changing year, just like 2006.
26 Dec, 2006
The start of my Intl. School years. The date in which I embarked to Dhaka, Bangladesh. At first, I was bawling my eyes out, trying to figure out why I was ever sent to this punishment. Let me tell you, the first few weeks or first few months, I felt like a complete loner. I tried to smile, but it seems inevitable.

Then, it became better as I made friends. I mean, I still think that Dhaka, BD isn't an ideal place for a first posting, but it's good for an eye-opener. After a few years as innocent Middle School kids, some people showed of their horns at the end of 8th grade.
Suddenly, it felt like no one was who they was. For example, the flipzoos got even worse to an extent of being horny HIGH people.
Then, there is the frenemie issue! Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother. Till the last days in Dhaka, her true colors are always shown. Oh well, my "love" and hate for that person will always be a mystery, even to me.

After 3 1/2 years in good ol' Dhaka, I have to leave. Leave back to M'sia. Though it was a happy reunion, I felt sad since my Dad is still in South Asia! But I can't really tell you where he is... xD

In Malaysia, I'm trying to start anew. No more having Frenemies! No more pushover! No more being Weak!
Yet, somehow, it's starting all over again. I guess history repeats itself and I'm one of those idiots. However, I don't have to be in the constant shadow of Cornbread anymore.
Now, I feel like trying to lead, but not be the total leader. I'm trying to make a name for myself in this school full of many other students who are so much more experienced than me.
I was never in a competitive state until I came here. Damn~

Now I begin to question whether or not I should be an actress. I guess 2009 has it's ups and downs, but I like the memories that I have. It's nice...

Well...
Auld Lang Syne....

<3 the Idiot

My Music Scene

2009-12-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I will post up some of my music rants, but my music expertise will never be as good as L or N. I'm still learning!

First off, I shall rant on about the lack of GOOD music in Malaysia. Seriously, can Hitz.fm or any other radio station play something other than "Eh, Eh, Eh" by our infamous Lady Gaga. Okay, I admit that I loved that song primarily because it's not something upbeat as "Just Dance," "Poker Face," or "Love Game." Actually, I think I dislike Lady Gaga, but her specialty is Dance Music, and she's good at it. All you have to do is repeat the same words over and over again.
Sadly, Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Gone Bad" is the same.

If so, can't they play something other than Dance Songs!
For example, you could play AAR's "Dance Inside," which I find more interesting to hear than "I Wanna" over and over again. I Adore you AAR, but if the radio keeps on playing that ONE song over and over again, a girl will go on a crazy rampage.

Click Five is not so shabby on tunes either. I totally recommend "American Royalty" because it's funny and catchy. If not, then try "Flipside" which is better than than song with the Jamaican tune to it.

Then, you try listening to some "Replay" by Iyaz, which is the only song making me sane! I love the opening and the middle, and the end. XD

Somehow, my brother's been playing "Fireflies" by Owl City over and over again on his iTunes. Annoying as it is, I think it's better than hearing Bleach and "Ding Fries Order." His music taste can be very well questioned.

If you want something mellow, I recommend "Ave Maria" by Beyonce, the only chilling song from I'm Sasha Fierce. But Avalanche by Marie Digby seems to give me the pep I need for waking up.

Oh well... I guess no one likes Alya's playlist. I'm sure some of you won't.
It's just full of crappy songs, which I'm too embarrassed to share. Actually, I think I'm going to say it... I have... *gulp* a Miley Cyrus song in it.
No, it's not the friggin Climb, but Butterfly Fly Away. And Rockstar.
I might not like the singing but I think the lyrics are good!
=_=;

Till I have more to say,
Music Scene Newbie
says
Good bye!

P.S: Music Rehab needed

Miling About

2009-12-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

Time, the most evilest thing ever created.
Somehow, time can never be erased, but a never ending river that floats and may cause someone dismay. Yet, time helps me get closer and closer to my driving license.

I know it's too early to think about my D.L, but I can't help it! Looking at my mom's car, looking at my aunt's car, looking at the Hello Kitty Myvi car, I want to drive! If I do, then I will face other problems. Parking, Gas (the "good" kind), and Idiots on the Road.
Then again, I have freedom to go where ever I want to. For example, I could hop on by to B.T.S and see my friend, Kim.

What got me thinking of driving was the fact that my brother kept telling me that I have no motor skills, whatsoever. In Giant Supermarket, I can barely turn the blasted shopping cart, much less maneuver a 2000+ kg car.

Isn't that the most cutest car you've ever seen? I took a picture of it while I was stuck waiting for the school bus to reach my house.

But this light blue Mini Cooper will be the Dream First Car! But sadly, I need some fulus, as the new Malay slang applies. Personally, I much rather say MooLah than fulus any day.
Well, time for me to dream a bigger dream. In my Mini C, or maybe even a Lamb, with Tsubasa Andou suddenly appearing...

God, I think I should STOP reading Manga and come to to Reality!!!!!!!!

Nah, reality can never be good enough...

Wiping of the Dust

2009-12-27T11:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know... It's been so long since I've been writing, but I had excuses.
Actually, my excuses are really crappy, so I shall bore you with them.

First off, I was catching up on my Gakuen Alice fanaticism. After 5 years, I am finally going to read the Gakuen Alice manga. However, I can't buy it since the English version is up to Volume 7. The entire volume count is 20 and above. Why Higuchi!
For 2 weeks now, I have been reading G.A online constantly and I sleep around 2.10 am now because of that.

Another G.A related thing I've been doing is reading The Bookworm and the Beast by My Hopeless Romantic.
I think I owe Eun Ji that much for not doing my obligations as a G.A Fan.

Sorry but this is the inner Manga Freak in me. I think I rather fall for fictional guys...

Speaking of fictional guys, this is Tsubasa Andou, the best character in the manga. There are several reasons why:
1) He is super funny!
2) He has the awesome power to control shadows. Malaysia is always sunny (except during Monsoon seasons) so having the "Alice" to control shadows is pretty awesome.
3) He is of age limit. I mean, the main character is 10-11! I think it's pedophilia if I started to have random crushes on Natsume Hyuuga... LOL =D

Sadly, my enemy Misaki Harada is standing in the way! Why Higuchi!
Oh well... Of to Dreamland for this MangaFreak!

Whispering Loudmouth says
"Peace Out"

Another Issue with Weight

2009-11-20T04:15:00.001-08:00

Why is losing 5 kgs in 3 months so hard?
I hope to try harder. So far, I have lost 1 kg, or some pounds.
I'll keep cheering on!
Whoop!

Green Penises and Lube - Warning: TMI!

2009-11-20T03:50:00.000-08:00

I guess the title says it all, doesn't it?
Well, let me elaborate on that...

For Health Class, we are now in the "joyful" unit called Sex Ed and one of the requirements in SexEd is learning how to put on Condoms.
But first, formalities.
The teacher told us to sign this contract informing your parents that the student can or cannot participate in this "fun" activity.

When I got home, we sat down for dinner and then I told my mom, "Mama, we are going to learn how to put on condoms?" Very Casually. Then, my mom's face was just priceless. She seemed panicky, as though this is a bad thing. (Note: My mom is the conservative compared to my dad)
She started saying things like, "Why do you need to know this? How will the boys react?" Blah-di-blah-blah
It was up to my dad to give the OK.

After 1 week of waiting, it was what I referred to as "Cucumber Day."
Apparently, we had to imagine the cucumbers as our personal penises.
The teacher started handing out the condoms. I had a pink packet one with a pink "balloon" inside.
At first, I had trouble opening it and after finally finding the place to tear, I tore it open. The teacher said to push it downwards so it pops out.
I can't describe to you how it looked. Out popped out this small, worm-like thing covered in icky, yucky (childish words!!!) lube (spermicide... my friend told me this) and it was just disgusting.
For some reason, when you put on the thing to the cucumber, it was pretty easy.
After that, it was time to wash our hands and our green "thing-ies."
It was so awkward since the senior girls came in and the look of "What the Hell" on their faces said it all.

Oh well... that was my experience of the day?
=P

I'm On the Verge of Sadness

2009-11-08T00:45:00.000-08:00

Sigh... I can't believe it! I really can't believe it. I think I have fallen for N. I hope it's one of those 1 day crush epidemic. Somehow, I don't think so, but it's really sad.

I've known enough to not fall for him, but I can't help it. It's that Goddamn Smile of his... It's just... *sigh* (SLAPS SELF)
Okay, I think I should just stop myself before it's too late. Yesterday kind of slowed down my development of losing interest in Nash (as a potential crush). We hanged yesterday with our eccentric family and seeing him have fun in the kiddie pool at KLCC got me thinking. But, I'm a hopeless romantic and I have been reading Shojo Manga. Evidence proving I'm crushing on him due to those two factors.

Sigh~ I think it's a PHAIL if I start liking him. It will be awkward, like L's moment. Speaking of L, I think she overreacts just a bit. But I still love her, and that's important!

Right now, I'm procrastinating my World Studies homework to write about N! Ahh~~ I should stop now...
XD

Muax~
From Miss Desperate

Hanging Out With My Family~

2009-10-21T01:25:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I have formed a family (Technically, an EXTENDED family). I am the mother of two or three: Elle and Huei Yi (and an occasional Jennifer). On the other side, I'm friends with Akmal, who is the father of Nash. Then, comes GREAT-Grandma, who is Ameer. Technically, this is not the final Set-Up, but it's good enough, I guess...

So, here is our family outings. Some was during my Birthday, others were just random...

A Cool Awesome Thing That I wanted to try ever since I saw it. Like, I see people jump and the picture is so awesome. Never would I have thought that it would be applicable to me... Thank you Elle...

Just Mommy and her Girls...

The Extended-Extended Family: Grace and Misato... The Aunts... =P

Here is Akmal and Nash... And No... they are not "Pshah~" Pondan... They just totally love each other sampai nak mampus! It's very funny, especially in Malay classs. How Akmal dotes on his "son?" Really funny people...

Again, my daughters and me... I cropped myself out (No, not because of poor body image) because my "ahems" were sort of showing... Naughty, Naughty... XD

Jenny, my amigA in Prep and English!

NO! We are so not a couple. Misa (short for Misato) said that we look good together? Do you think so... Urm~ Not to be mean, but I think that he's like my brother... Poor Guy, shot down too many times by girls... Dx

Again, my classic "WTH?" look...

It's a rainy day

2009-10-21T01:20:00.000-07:00

What a "joyful" rainy day? I guess the rain is my feeling personified. Well, my Mama is going to Colombo to see my Papa, and I feel a bit sad. I know, No Parents, a kid should be happy (let me re-phrase that, "TEEN"). But, it feels weird. Oh well, I hope Mama has fun.

Today was an okay day. I have a new uniform which are four sizes smaller than my previous one. 46 to 42. My mom gave me an "I Told You So" look, since she knew my self-conscientiousness will get in the way of me choosing my uniform at the beginning of the year. I guess I learnt my lesson, but now I have to wear white everyday. New Plan: Steal one shirt from Haris! Mwahahaha~

I think I have fallen for someone, but not super fallen. He is Joseph from school, but I have no pictures... DAMN it... He's super cute, and he has his braces OFF!
Speaking of braces, I am going to get them. I'm pretty excited since I have always been fond of braces, but everyone is like, "WTH? Why do you want braces?" I shrug it off... Sooner, in two weeks, you'll see me writing something different. LOL